Action Heroes Favorite Weapons…1) Guns2) Knives3) Humor4) Dynamite/bombs5) Box Office Receipts Why Action Heroes Would Not Make Good Car Wash Attendants… 1) They tend to crash cars2) They tend to blow up buildings3) They tend to not hold jobs long4) They tend to blow up cars too5) They tend to hate their boss Top 5 Animals Action Heroes Hate…1) Snakes2) Sharks3) John Malkovich4) Walruses 5) Dogs Things Action Heroes Like To Jump…1) Cars2) Bodies of Water3) Canyons4) The Leading Lady5) Buildings Songs Action Hero Like To Listen To…1) Jump – Van Halen2) Grenade – Bruno Mars3) Cuts Like A Knife – Bryan Adams4) Anything by Guns And Roses5) We Don’t Need Another Hero – Tina Turner Best Action Hero Choices…1) Bruce Willis2) Arnold Schwarzenegger3) Harrison Ford4) Steven McQueen5) The Rock Worst Action Hero Choices…1) W.C. Fields2) Bill Gates3) The Drummer From Def Leppard4) Grumpy Cat (from the internet)5) Pee Wee Herman A Sampling* Of The Best Action Movies…1) Die Hard2) Speed3) Enter The Dragon4) The Matrix5) Terminator 2 Games Action Heroes Like To Play…1) Risk2) Solitaire3) Hide And Go Seek4) Beer Pong5) London Bridges A Sampling Of The Worst Action Movies (but you’ll watch them anyway)…1) Point Break2) Face/Off3) Spider-man 34) Howard the Duck5) Sharknado Best Action Hero One Liners….1) Yippie Ki Yay Mother Fucker! – Die Hard2) Say Hello to my little friend! - Scarface3) I’ve come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubble gum! – They Live4) Hasta-la-vista baby! – The Terminator5) Always bet on black! – Passenger 57 Worst Alarm Clock Sounds For An Action Hero…1) Bombs2) Fresh Prince Of Bel Air Theme Song3) Bad Guy Explaining His Plans4) 60 Minutes TV Show Clock Ticking5) Samuel L. Jackson Reading Dr. Suess’ Hop On Pop
Why I Would Not Make A Good Action Hero….
1) I don’t look good in a wife beater
2) I can’t decide on a cool looking logo
3) I’m lazy
4) My catch phrase is, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
5) I need to eat. You never see action heroes eat.
*I said sampling, I did not mean these were the only ones!