Remember back when I got my chest measured properly in a proper bra shop?My first time ever to be correctly measuredAnd Remember I was told I was a 34 DD?And I could barely believe itRemember how I bought two very grown up proper bras?And I was quite proud of my assetsWellSaid bras no longer fit me Which makes me sadWhy is it That when ever I lose weightI lose if from the areas that need it most My boobsMy bum And always lose it from places that I don't want toLike my face Id say I am now a 32 C Going by how the bras fit I've also been going through my wardrobeAnd trying on clothes to see what fits And what doesn'tI have so many lovely items That are now way too big for meAnd that is a damn shame As well as an incentive to gain a little My weight has stayed static for the last month I've neither lost nor gained And my BMI hovers around the same number But the truth is I can afford to gain a few kilos And still be pretty slim Weight loss just isn't important at the moment
I rang my local piercing studio todayTo inquire about getting my labret done The piercer is only there on a Friday So I'm going to go for it I think it's time Time for another piercing I love my nose ring I think it adds something interesting to my face My Mum hates itAnd is pleading with me not to get another one But it's falling on deaf ears I just really want to get it done I also inquired about getting wings tattooed on my shoulder bladesThe girl I spoke to estimated it would cost around €300So I won't be getting that done any time soonBut It's something to think about And to look forward to
For me Recovery is finding healthy ways to meet the needs that drugs metRelaxationConfidence Self esteem Fun Escapism All the things that drugs provide For a while at leastSo I guess my meetings Horse riding Writing And my dogs All fulfill these needs And even better than drugs and alcohol and my ED didAnd of course The fun thing isThat I can find more and more activities to make me feel content and happyI can try new things Learn new things Meet new people The possibilities are endless!Recovery means freedomFree from the chains that my ED and addiction held me inIt means feeling free to eat To enjoy itAnd to keep it down Recovery means eating until I am fullNot over or under eatingIt means allowing myself to eat a rich and varied diet And not feel guilty Recovery means allowing my body to find its own natural set point And not constantly trying to lose weight and be smaller Recovery means peace of mind Contentment SerenityIt means I am enough Just the way I amNot looking for others approval It means knowing that I am a good personAnd I am doing the best that I canRecovery means really living life Laughing until you cry Late nights watching movies with my mom and sister It means eating food At the table And having a conversation Recovery means feeling the fear and doing it anyway And knowing that I will feel great afterwards It means being happy in my own company But being sociable when I want to It means helping others through my story and my writing It means passing on recovery to others And sharing what helps And what works Recovery means asking for help when we need itTalking it out over a cuppa and a slice of cakeIt means feeling good enoughAnd not lesser or better than anyone else It means finding things that you love Work Hobbies Pets Whatever that may be Recovery means choosing to live
With all that said I was wondering about youWhat does recovery mean to you?Are you in recovery?Is it everything you thought it would be?What are the best and worst parts about recoveryAnswers on a postcard please.....