Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics that are, quite simply Sochi 2014.
Well Folks - What A Day!
This bloke from somewhere slid faster than another bloke from somewhere and won the sliding along/down/across on frozen water.
Britain’s highlight of the day was watching Tories splutter as their political heartland sank under the floods. As one Gay UKIP wag may have said, “It is God’s curse on us for allowing women bishops!”
We saw this fella in the Ski Jimp and thought. Mmmmm…..Russia……Revolution……bearded Marxist……yes folks……..IT’S LEAPING LENIN!
The Great Leap forward!
A couple of sports to look out for.
1. Octogenarian Testicle Slalom - The stretchy tessies elderly gentlemen possess! The record slalom from a standing point is 17 gates and 23o feet of sac unfurled.
Favourite is 104 year old Kano Sackorollo from Japan who made world headlines this week after an emergency occurred on board his plane to Sochi. The emergency slides failed to activate and Kano rolled out his scrotum to allow passengers to glide (after taking their shoes off naturally) to safety.
Expect (non) stiff competition from Spain’s Manuel Cardosa who hires his knackers out as a marquee!
2. The Nuns From The Sound Of Music Lesbian Lover Lust – On Ice! - The world’s greatest ice based lesbian team sport makes its debut at the games. Favourites are the Australian team of Bull Dyke bus drivers, but expect a plucky performance by the crack team from Venezuela.
I know I will be glued to the TV as they seek to sort out Maria’s Problem!
Enjoy The Games!
Sooty