Gingerfightback has learned that Jesus and Santa Claus have been bought by THE GREATEST man in the world Simon Cowell and Christmas has been rebranded ”Cowellmass”.
Pop svengali and high fiber enthusiast Simon told Gfb, “I am great. Everybody knows that and it is fitting that, by popular demand, December 25th is named after me as it shows my greatness and enormous humility. I will be delivering kids’ prezzies myself tomorrow night. To make the day even better for these whelps they will receive a photo of me. They can then adore me to their heart’s content. As a result of this act of magnificent munificence I have soiled myself and need a new nappy.”
Here is the snap of Simon your kids will receive. What a great guy he is.