We are on the cusp. Really. Heartbreakingly. Not sure whether we are at the start of the slope down, or the start of catching it early and climbing out.
Sophie talked to her brother today and then talked to me. My son also broke down more today.
He is suicidal, but cannot quite make the decision. Praise God.
He cannot not exercise, needs to, gets both power and control from it. Eating disorder territory.
He prefers not to eat but does. It is nowhere near enough as the exercise routine strips him.
He is underweight by about 6kg – not alarming but if it keeps going down he is in trouble.
He prefers to not be in this world and it’s pain. He wants to disappear. Eating disorder territory.
His pain = his father. He saw and understood more than the other two children put together.
He now has Sophie’s counselor too. If his weight continues to drop I will bring in the dietitian. I cannot give him more than this competent and professional team that saved my daughter.
My daughter is broken, seeing her brother on the beginning of a path that she has just trod. I am broken seeing another child destroyed by a man I wish I had left, but didn’t have the means to.
Is there any limit to the pain we carry as parents? Is there any way we can every truly protect our children from the environment they live in?