She is Restricting

 … she just doesn’t realise it. As parent I can see what is happening. So subtle, so sneaky is this illness. Of course it is latching on to Sophie’s anxieties at the moment. I know she said to both me and her counsellor that she wasn’t using food as a way to combat her anxieties. But she is. Like I said, so subtle, so little the changes.

Less on her plate when she serves herself, less in her milk glass as opposed to her brother’s. Missing a meal or just having yoghurt. Comments about her being fat or bigger than she used to be, but not fully acting on them.

To her, restriction means just not eating or drinking at all. But she has forgotten how small this illness starts and how it sneaks up. Using all available emotions, negativity, fears and anxieties it creeps in. She is not in any danger at the moment and the exams are so close there can be no harm done. But what if it was going to be a prolonged time of anxiety or she doesn’t pull out of this round of anxiety enough.  This is what will always make her high risk, even into next year despite all the gains made and being a stable weight for ages.

Here is where it gets vital to watch and make her aware. A gradual weight loss can bring her to that trigger weight. The body weight that tips the mind into anorexia territory and it gets a tight grip. It is so important to try and remain at a stable, correct BMI weight. The longer you can stay there, the more the mind pulls away from the eating disorder thinking and voices. Just allowing your weight to tip below, means the eating disorder gets very hard to dislodge. And so begins the slippery slope down.

So just watching, just reminding her to eat and drink, to care for herself. Reminding her I won’t always be there, that she has to learn to eat and drink to keep herself strong.