It’s One Word Wednesday, and I haven’t quite let this word go, so join me, as I contemplate more on this word: selfless. At the beginning of the year I chose a word to ponder over and commit to my conscious level of being and doing. And so, somehow this word dropped into my spirit, and i am on a roll, to find deeper meaning.
I have been meditating and also reading on this scripture so fitting, it is as I reflect on the word:
Jeremiah 18:4 ” But the vessel he was working on with the clay was ruined in the potter’s hand. So he remade it into another vessel that seemed appropriate to him…” and verse 6 says: “…can’t I deal with you like this potter?” declares the LORD. “Look, Israel, like clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.” ISV
So I have been wondering for the past few days why I chose the word selfless as a word for the year. Or did I? It hardly makes sense; yet I am beginning to realize I possibly didn’t really choose it, anyway. I believe God did. Yet it was there, in my spirit. One of the most amazing things is: I found inside of the meaning of word selfless the word: efficacy – which means the power to bring about a desired result. Another definition of the word was : open-handed. I have to admit, I really was puzzled at first.
Remain open-handed? Really, I thought? Is that how one brings about desired results? To remain in a state of continual receiving? I was speaking to a group pf people yesterday, and played out an example in front of the room about how I was trying to receive something they were trying to give me. I couldn’t receive it with a closed hand. I tried and tried, and became sort of flustered, irritated and disappointed in myself because I couldn’t grasp the good thing they were trying to give me. Over and over, I failed. Until I finally just gave up. I didn’t have the power to bring about a desired result. Maybe it was because I was not in a state of receiving, or my hands were not open.
I really am not much of a selfish person anyway, I don’t tend to think I am a selfish person, So I wondered why God would give me this word to ponder over for the year. Hmmm… maybe it’s a measure of growth, an instrument of information to keep me balanced. In fact, when I told my husband my word, he laughed and said : ” Interesting your word involved dutifulness, and mine involves one of pacing and slowing down.”His word for the year is balance. If you know me, or my husband, this is pretty interesting, because he is often dutiful and I am often the one creating balance for us and slowing the pace.
Pacing is such a word that was so hard for me to find at one point in my life. I had to literally study and ask God for a strategy at one point in my life, because I often felt as if was lost, or missing out on something really important in my life. I will write about it more in my series of one words, so look for it in an upcoming post.
One of the things I am slowly recognizing as I daily attempt to remain conscious about this word is recognizing that I have to place effort, ( and with intensity, I might add) where I never have, before. In situations I have never considered. For example, last week was very trying. I had to really challenge myself to reach out to others regarding an issue I that really bothered me. ( That’s often hard for a therapist to do.) Yes, it bothered me, but was I really conscious it was bothering me, or was I just tolerating it, because I didn’t want to share it with anyone? I found out I was really keeping to myself. Upon my sharing of the information, someone else was encouraged, by my choosing to open up and share. I have heard that secrets make you sick. I am beginning to see how true this saying can actually be.
So as I continue on my selfless journey, I shall explore and find meaning and communicate through this blog how this journey reaches for my soul and how God molds me into a better person in 2013.
I am grateful for the challenge of being the hands of the Potter.