Self Care During the Holidays

As the holidays  are now in full swingI wanted to take a break today from
Holiday Wear
and
Decorated Spaces.
I wanted to write about the importance ofSelf Care During the Holidays.
As joyous and beautiful as the holidays can be
for many of us
they can also be filled with
Emotional Mind Fields.

As with  any other time in the yeartaking good care of ourselvesinsures we will have more to give to those we love.
Self Care
during the holidays is  an especially important
component to loving holidays.
By this time in my lifeI have lived through all types of Christmases from much anticipated magical Christmas's growing upto an extremely painful Christmas with the death of my sister two weeks before.Christmases after that have always been a blend of emotions.
We have also had so very many Christmas's full of magic and wonder as our three children grew up!
We have recently had three past Christmasesmissing one of our children during his years of chosen estrangement.During those years I learned to truly focus on the beauty of people who chose to be there.I realized one can still find beauty in the world even with a hole in your heart.

I only write thisto acknowledgesometimes Christmas comes with a full serving of real life along the way.
But when we take care of ourselvesto the best of our abilitywe will always have more gracenot only for othersbut just as importantly ourselves.
This year with our son back for the holidays
and
our family trying to rebalance into new waysI realize as much as ever the importance of Self Care During the Holidays.
 I will be practicing self care
to be  able to most effectively love on my family and friends.
After a successful Thanksgiving family weekendI wanted to share some of the things that worked for meandremind myselfto take good care once again.

Let Go Of Expectations Of Perfect
This one I have definitely been working on for years.Now I know to do my bestand then let it go.

As much as I like things to look goodI now know to focus on the moments.

For me these days

it is also important to let go of expectations of others.
We all come to the holidays
stepping out of where we are in our souls this year.
None of us are perfect.
and
 all of us are doing the best we can at the time
with what we have  and know
at this time.

Bringing Grace to the holidays

 goes far for everyone
ourselves included.

Let Go Of Comparisonit is always the thief of joyRight off you might think I mean comparing your holidays to other peopleswhich is destructive enough for obvious reasons.
But there is another Holiday comparisonthat can be equally joy stealing.Comparing this holiday right nowto ones gone by.
I have found as hard as it is sometimesin life and
especially during the holidaysit is so important  to focus on the good that is here right now.
Not to hold  this year up for comparison and judgements
of years gone by.
We only truly have today
right now
this year.

Respect Yourself

I think self respect is always important
but like many of these ideas
even more so during the holidays.

We need to respect how much we can give.

Whether it be time or money.

Over giving leads to resentment.

Know your boundaries.

That line that crosses from joyful loving giving

into the abysm of resentful duty.

I know during the long Thanksgiving weekend

I remembered that I  personally needed
 alone downtime to rest and recharge.
Respecting that about my personal self
meant I could come back down
refreshed with more to give
and 
really enjoy the company of my family.

Trying to do too much

is an easy way to loose Holiday joy.

Make A List Of Holiday Objectives
I realized recently to figure out what it is I wanted the outcome of the
family weekend to be.
For me I want my children, parents and brother to return to a place they feellovedhonored and respected.
For me I demonstrate this by havingguest rooms for my children that are cozy and well appointed.For meI show love by beautifying spaces.Whether it be a beautiful room, space or table.
These objectivesmight seem obvious enoughbut for me to have the conversation with myselfmeant I could keep my focus on what was important.
And
not to go off the rails getting annoyed with the less important aspects.
I also keep tight present buying lists.
It's all too easy to be out shopping
and
be swept away in the moment
thinking that perfect gift can buy someone happiness.
It doesn't.
Remember self respect of time and money.

Take Care Of Yourself Inside and Out
I know it's a busy time of year
but taking the time to make good nutrition
a priority
means you will have more energy for the holidays.
I'm not saying to get crazy about what you eat
just remember to get some good stuff in!

I am pretty happy with myself when I do this daily.It's not funbut after taking the time for this oneI am a lot more conscious the whole day of what I'm putting in my body.

Holiday Wardrobe
I'm not talking about fancy fashion here.I'm talking about taking the time before the festivities beginto line up outfitsthat you will feel your best in.Outfits that make your heart happy to wear.
Being in charge of family holidaysmeans you want to feel your bestin order to bring your best.For me clothes help.
Just like packing for a tripI like to think through the events of the weekendand plan outfits that I know I feel comfortable inand enjoy wearing.
In my younger yearsI missed this simple conceptonly to find self scrambling beforeevery event to pull something together to wear.Trust methis was not emotionally prettyfor meor the ripple effect that ensued.
Plan what you want to wearahead of the need.

Cherish The Small Moments

To me this is what Self Care During The Holidaysis all about.
Self Care which leaves you whole and groundedso you can be truly present in the small moments that are really can be the big spectacularjoyful momentswe really are searching for during the holidays.
One  of my favorite moments from this last Thanksgiving was  just that.
Sitting at South Coast Repetory watching the  Christmas Carolwith my family like we have done for so many years.My knee barely touching my son who had returnedafter three missed Chrismass.But he was there in that momentlike he had always been before.My heart quietly overflowedwith gratitude for answered prayersand for the quiet joy of   that life moment.
When an estrangement endsafter the initial ecstatic embracesthere is much uncharted waters still to navigate.I don't know what the future will bring.But I will always have that quiet momentwhen he was Therein the flesh and in the heart.He didn't quickly move away.We were physically connected.After such heartache over the situation of his chosen estrangementI committed that moment into my heartand can pull up at a moments notice.To remember hope is real.An unconditional love can happen.
I could  do this because I realized the need for Self Care During the Holidays.
And I'm old enough now to know sometimeslife is savored in the quiet moments when you least expect it.
Taking good care of ourselvesmeanswe can love on others so much betterand be present when sacred heart moments do occur.
My wish for you this holiday seasonis self careso you can show up with grace in your heartand an ability to cherish the sacred momentsthat can be mixed in all of the hustle and bustle of the season.

As always my friends
I wish you love and joyas you style your life