I was thankful for a really calm weekend. It was sort of uneventful, and freeing. And very relaxing.
I spent time with a couple of friends in their moments of vulnerability and sharing this weekend as I traveled to Texas and I also spent time sharing with my husband and he also shared having long talks with me and communicating, as well.
As I spend time with myself and my spouse, I learn so much about myself. It is indeed a blessing to have him in my life, but also to be able to share my soul with someone who is so close to me. So I am writing this in such a way that I am desperately trying to gain wisdom about those I am in relationship with, including myself. A tad bit of advice: If you are in relationship with someone who doesn’t cause you to see parts of yourself you need to see , in order to be a better, person, then maybe you should not be in that relationship. Maybe it really isn’t feeding your soul - (your mind, will and emotions.) Maybe its making you feel more out of control.. maybe its not helping you be the very best you can be. Maybe, then maybe it might be time to be honest with yourself and let it go.
I write this comment in a former post, a few days ago… but I am sharing this particular quote again, because I desire to elaborate:
“I was in a Celebrate Recovery meeting the other night, yes… I attend these groups to help me grow and evolve into a more spiritually mature woman. I received an amazing revelation about my challenges and how some of the very same challenges I am experiencing conquering as an adult, my child needs to also learn to conquer herself. As I take on and receive this growth -challenge, I am recognizing that as I surrender to challenges of overcoming the *fear of vulnerability and * the feelings of inadequacy I have owned for several years, I am helping my daughter to also to overcome one day in her youthful days and life before she becomes an adult, as old as me! In other words, had I not had these challenges, she would not be able to overcome them, herself.”
One of the greatest and most beautiful things I enjoy about my marriage is the ability to be vulnerable with my husband, and then see us grow to another level TOGETHER. I never ALSO expected to also have this same experience with my child.
To grow??
No, I mean to experience the level of vulnerability as I have, in the past few days. Well, MAYBE GROWTH CAN BE a by-product of VULNERABILITY… Hmm… I didn’t think of that. In fact, I didn’t realize such a little person could pull so much emotion out of you. And its interesting, I would say… to know that a child’s words and actions could be so intuitive, and so though-provoking… especially when they ask: “Why?” to everything… ( smile) …and then their little responses to your answers can impact your life in such a way, that your emotions fall lightly (and then sometimes heavily), all over the place.
So… here’s the best thing that I find in my moments of vulnerability what is happening to my soul:
It’s being freed.
I suddenly feel more beautiful. More attractive. Not just to myself, ( hope I don’t sound conceited, but bear with me…) in essence, I feel as if I am helping to make others feel beautiful.
As I am freed, others are freed, because I share perspective, insight, wisdom and most of all, my courage, as I endure these parts of my life with great liberation. I am simply living this part of my life, and living, being forty-something, and learning and evolving and being free.
Hope you can join and be with me, in this process.
Amen & Selah.