The Queen has pleaded once again with the Scots not to turn their backs on the United Kingdom and vote for independence. The big funnelled monarch, celebrating 600 years without a thought, is said by Palace insiders to be very “worried” about developments.
To show her devotion to her Scottish subjects Her Royal Linerness has taken to wearing the national symbol of Scotland, the Scotch Egg.
Royal watcher, Form A- Orderly-Queue told Gfb, “Her Royal Minus is very keen that the Sweaty Socks stay part of the UK. She adores shortbread, has read all of Irvine Welsh’s novels, is addicted to Temazepan and regularly wears tartan knickers. Such is her devotion.”
Why don’t they want wonky Prince Charlie as their next King?
Prince Phillip has ordered tanks to be placed outside the house of Scottish firebrand and slurper of soup, Alex “Fatty” Salmond, describing him as a “Slimy sporran sniffing Jock Bastard,” to close pals.
But bending over to the Celtic nations is nothing new for Her Royal Thighness. As a sign of the improving relations with people Phillip describes as “Those bog trotting Papist Mick Bastards,” Queenie and Phil donned traditional begorrah begorrah garb as a sign of rapprochement between the two nations.
What will the Scottish People decide? Will it be life in the Faslane? Or is that the nuclear option?
Och Aye The Noo
Mammy!