I usually work Saturdays But Work is quiet so I have another day offThis is both a good and a bad thing Bad in that I don't get paid Meaning that this week I have only worked a total of eight hoursBut good in that I get to do fun stuffLike sleep in Watch TV And blog and generally relaxSo that's what I'm doing todayThere are a lot of things about work I would love to blog about But I don't feel right writing about themAnd posting it on the Internet So I will just keep things generalLast week And the week before I picked up extra hours As one of the girls was unwellI was grateful to have the extra hours and pay But towards the end of the weekI kind of felt like I was being tAken for granted The sick girl was supposed to come back to work Thursday morning But I got a text at midnight on Wednesday from her Asking me to do her shift I was pretty annoyed about being asked at such short notice But I thought there was no one to go in to do the shift So I agreed to do itI got up at 7am the next morning To be in work for 8 amI was not a happy camper to say the least I thought I was on my own to do breakfast So you can imagine my surprise when one of the other ladies who works there walked in the door She was just as surprised to see meThen the girl who had been poorly turned up too I was pretty annoyed Although I didn't show it Needless to say I left them to it And headed homeLater on that day I got a call from Georgina She apologised about the morning And said that this girl should never have asked me to work Without going through Georgina first She had a stern talk with her I then got a flurry of texts from the girl Apologising And trying to make things rightOf course I won't hold a grudge And apart from my feeling a little bit used No harm was done So we will build a bridge and get over it
In other news Following my last post A few of you were adamant That I should not weigh myself on MondayJust to remind you I have been feeling very fat and cumbersomeAnd had planned to get my doctor to weigh me on Monday morning I just feel like there is so much of me Sometimes it bothers me But most of the time I can rationalise that I am not obese And am in fact a healthy weight But recently I am finding it hard to appease myself I know there are other ways to keep an eye on my weightLike how my clothes fit They fit perfectly In all honesty I feel no difference there But then I look in the mirror And I estimate by looking at myself They I am size 14-16Even though my clothes are size 8-10And as well as that I hate that it still matters to me what I weigh Up until now I have been going by how I feel And not how I look I feel pretty good So who cares what I weigh?WellMe apparently I bloody care Or at least the ED part of me caresBut really and truly Weight should be the last thing on my mind And most of the time it is But just in the last week Having so much time off Has me looking for trouble This is why being busy is good for me people It keeps my mind distracted And I don't have time to think about things like weight or drugs But lookHopefully this is just a temporary thing And I will move past it I am undecided whether to weigh on Monday or notI guess one of two things could happen I could be relieved and reassured Or I could be horrified and repulsed But really I shouldn't let those numbers get to me so much However I will think about it And as ever I will keep you posted
There is a girl at work And she has taken it upon herself to set me up with a guy She herself is all loved up So I guess she wants me to be tooShe spoke about a few possibilities Even the chef at work But another girl that works there has a little crush on himSo I couldn't really do that to herShe could very well hunt me down and kill me in my sleepBut to be honest with you I do think the chef is a really nice and good guy When I first met him I didn't feel any attraction at allBut as I got to know himAnd saw what a really sound guy he is He became more attractive to me Now The thing is I am not sure if I am mistaking friendship for something more I mean We get on great And he knows some of my history And didn't run in the opposite direction when I told himHe's just a very kind, caring and considerate guy I like him I'm just not sure if I like him like himAm I making any sense here at all?Watch this space I guess
So All in all Things are going well I'm happy in work Happy with my friends Happy with my hobbies which keep me sane Happy at horse riding Happy in my recovery It's only been a few months But my life has changed drastically It's unrecognisable to what it was And I am so very grateful for that Also to have this community You all have been there for the past four and a half years Laughed and cried with me And always there by my side I am eternally grateful for that I will never forget you Thank you To each and every one of you From the bottom of my heart