In the end what is important is not apportioning blame or responsibility onto anyone. The aim of anything you read about eating disorders or learn is to be focussed on the recovery of your daughter or son. It’s about being there, loving unconditionally and being supportive. Both parents need to do this. If there is behavior in the home that may need to be addressed then do so and move on. Don’t get hung up on she did, no he said, then he or she did…. That doesn’t help anyone. I am not picking on fathers but they do seem to struggle with the whole teenage girl part in itself. Their daughters growing up is not something many of them handle very well. When that daughter then gets sick with a mental health illness it becomes easier to just hide and let someone else hold the reigns. Mothers can do exactly the same thing as fathers, but it is not as common. The bottom line that brushes away all our failures as parents and our human nature, is that our daughter or son needs us to recover. That is the point we need to focus on and to put aside our own fears, frailities, insecurities etc and get on with being there for them.
http://mylifewithanorexia.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/fathers-and-daughter/
- This is my own post about a father’s role in his daughter’s life
http://www.edreferral.com/for_fathers.htm
- Ten tips and ten things dads should know
http://www.eatingdisordersreview.com/nl/nl_edr_17_5_4.html
- Research findings about the importance of the father role in eating disorder recovery
http://www.vanderbilt.edu/AnS/psychology/health_psychology/father.htm
- Paper: How important is the father in eating disorder recovery
http://fatherandchild.org.nz/magazine/issue-9/hungry-for-dad/
- In 1991 Margo Maine wrote (in ‘Father Hunger) : “It is time to focus on the positive and crucial role that fathers can play in their daughters’ emerging identity and self-esteem.”
- A blog written by a father about living and dealing with his daughter’s eating disorder
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/daughersanddads/a/daughters.htm
- Father and daughter relationships
http://www.personalconsult.com/books/lostfathering1.html
- Father hunger – this one is more for the daughters or sons who feel they have no relationship with their father.
- Ten tips for dads to respond in healthy, supportive ways to their daughters if they have an eating disorder. Is also just plain good communication regardless of whether your daughter is ill or not.