The only constant in life is change, and it’s true in relationships, too! Life events that are associated with change include growing older, births, deaths, sickness, divorce, marriage, career goals and kids leaving the home, and that’s just for starters! Some changes may come unexpectedly and some may be planned. Whatever brings the change, effective coping will play an important role in your relationship success.
One of the greatest powers you have in life is how you choose to react to change. No matter what happens in your life, you are ultimately responsible for your own health and happiness. It is not up to your spouse or significant other to handle change for you.
With 2012 coming to an end you might be thinking of resolutions for the new year that involve change for you and your family in 2013. This New Year might produce changes that you’re not in control of. No matter how the change develops here are some guidelines for you to consider as you move through these next few weeks preparing for the coming of 2013
- If change is anticipated, recognize and understand the change that you are about to initiate or that is about to happen. Do your homework and gather information and ask questions. The more you know about the change the better your ability to deal with it. Some questions might be: What is the worst thing that can happen from this change? What result do I want to avoid and what result do I want to create? By all means have these dialogues with your partner, too.
- Identify the opportunities from this change. A positive approach will most likely set the scene for success.
- Choose the action best suited for you and your family. In keeping family in mind, you will deal effectively with the change and others will be impacted in a positive manner. Be methodical in this step and write down how you plan to achieve these goals through your actions. Putting pen to paper can help you hold yourself responsible.
- Finally, review the progress you are making on a regular basis. Notice which actions and behaviors are working and which ones are not. Talk with your partner and get his or her opinion on the progress. Be willing to make modifications for improvement.
With a new year we get to have a new beginning. Take your relationship to another level and add something new and different to it. Discard what didn’t work and be open to a new approach. Most important share this with your special someone and let the process of changing together bring you closer.