Recharging My Soul

I blogged earlier this week about getting out of a running rut and I am in a rut, but not a running rut. A health rut. A not feeling so good about myself rut. A rut that is leaving me feeling heavy and tired. And as much as some people may want to imply, or tell me directly, it has nothing to do with overtraining. I am completely 100% confident with my running, my training, my progress, and where I am going. I just feel blah. And I attribute that to an ongoing stomach issue I have had for a couple of months now. In fact, it has been so long I no longer know the number of weeks off the top of my head. I used to. I used to be able to say my stomach has hurt for 4 weeks, 6 weeks.... Now, it just hurts. But not really like it used to hurt. It is a different hurt. Annoying hurt.
I am following doctor's orders and taking my medicine each and every morning, even when I think I may be better. And the "I'm better" days are really I'm better just not hurting as much as before days. The pain is dulled and my only dream now is to not take the medicine and be me again. And keep your fingers crossed that the doctors will discover the cause tomorrow and give me some insight. But I am not necessarily counting on that. I had a stomach issue years ago, did a bunch of tests, and got better on my own. Cause never known. And this is at the core of my rut and I think I am fearful of no answer and continued discomfort. That thought is making me edgy and when I am edgy, I sleep less peacefully. I am in a vicious cycle of a rut.
For weeks now I have been more focused on tracking tummy pain and seeing if it was linked to anything in specific that I started falling short on my nutrition focus. My meals are less planned. I am exhausted from analyzing my pain and seeing if there is a trigger. I did learn no lilikoi right now but in all reality, I wasn't eating lilikoi when the pain started so it isn't the real trigger.
All said and done, I need to recharge my soul. I need to get back to me. I need to keep running daily to clear my head and flush my body. I need to find my happy zone when not running. I need to get back to eating cleaner with well-planned meals, awesome weekly shopping, and tons of freggies. I need to get back to drinking a daily green smoothie when I get home from work. It always made me feel good. I don't see why it won't now. I need to take care of me from the inside out. And yes, I need to get more massages. Dear hubby is awesome at this but I need some real therapeutic massages focused on getting my energies moving properly and addressing any running related woes. I need to take care of me so I can feel re-energized.
So what am I going to do? Pick up some freggies on the way home, whip up myself a green smoothie, and perhaps make a wedge salad for dinner and lunch tomorrow!
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for the ability to kick myself in the butt.
Daily Affirmation: I have the power to recharge my soul.