As you know by now
Monday is doctor day for me
Being on a methadone programme
I have to see my doctor weekly
I'm also supposed to be drug tested every week
But my doctor rarely does this anymore
As I have been clean for quite a while
I really don't like the drug test
My doctor produces a little plastic cup
With a tester inbuilt in to it
I retreat to the bathroom
And try and aim so I get enough pee in the cup
This is harder than you may think
Then I bring the cup back in
And my doctor reads the test
Obviously
The test should read negative for opiates, benzos and amphetamines
And positive for methadone
Even though I know that my test is going to be ok
I still get nervous
There is nothing worse than having to walk in to my doctor
And tell him that I've used
I hate to disappoint him
As he has gone out of his way to help me over the years
Anyway
My appointment was unusually late this morning
As my doctor seems to be in much demand these days
I walked in to the waiting room
Checked in at reception
And walked over to get a magazine to read while I waited
As I was flicking through them
I heard a deep voice say 'Hello'
I looked up
And saw I man I recognized from the NA meetings I used to go to
He was no someone that I happy to see
This man
Who I will call R
Is a bit of a handful
He can be very intrusive
And once he starts talking
It's very difficult to get a way from
I've been to meeting where he attended
And the whole thing descended in to chaos
I've seem him take off his shoes and socks at meetings
I've seen him really annoy people
I've seen him make a woman cry he was harassing her so much
He just has no concept of boundaries
And says really inappropriate things to every one and everyone
Everyone in the town knows R
And most people try to avoid him
I mean he is harmless
He wouldn't hurt a fly
He is a dyed in the wool hippie type
He once lived in a forest that the government were trying to build a motor way through
He is gentle
But hard to handle
I said hello back to him
And he got up and walked over to me
'Jesus you're looking well' he exclaimed
'You've put on weight'
I said nothing
'You looked like you were one of those anorexics or bulimics'
I just stood there open mouthed
Aware that the whole room could hear him and heads were turning
'Are you one of those people that thinks they're fat?' he asked
I didn't know what to say
He just kept talking
'Do you look in the mirror and think you are fat?
He had absolutely no comprehension that what he was saying was totally and utterly inappropriate
And I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable
'I have to go' I said
And walked over to the other room
I saw him leave
And I breathed a sigh of relief
I settled myself in my seat and read my magazine
A few minutes later
He came back in to the waiting room
I kept my head down
And prayed he wouldn't come over to me
Out of the corner of my eye
I saw him sit beside a man
And started talking to him
But then the man was called in
So I immediately got up and went to the little waiting room beside my doctor's room
I saw R leave the surgery again
My doctor called me in
I explained why I wasn't in the usual waiting room
'I was trying to escape from R' I said
'Oh R' he said
He knew who I was talking about straight away
I told my doctor what he said to me
He agreed that it was totally inappropriate
And crossed so many boundaries
Thankfully I was able to laugh about it
And even though it was uncomfortable
It didn't upset me
However
It does raise the issue about commenting on people's weight
I make it a point never to comment someone's weight
You just don't know how they are going to take it
I know that I have stored every comment that was ever made about my weight in the back of my head under the file 'Self hatred'
I get that people want to acknowledge that I am in a better place
And that I look better
But don't go for the jugular and tell me that I've gained weight
I know that already
I live in my body every day
Do you really think I hadn't noticed?
So please general public
Avoid the weight comments
Tell me my hair is nice
Tell my my clothes are pretty
That my eyes look bright
But please don't address the size of my body
It has nothing to do with anything
I was wondering about you
How do you take weight comments?
Are you yay or nay when it comes to those comments?
Does it bother you when someone comments on your weight?