It hasn't been an easy journey and when we first started trying in 2013, we were so naive to miscarriage and baby loss and never once did I think I would experience it myself, let alone 3 times in one year. We still think of Rocco every day. Although it has been hard, I am so glad we got through it and we kept going, otherwise we may have given up before being blessed with this little girl I am carrying now.
We've been in and out of hospital a few times in the past few weeks for various different things which was scary and bought all those horrible fears back of losing another baby, but thankfully everything still seems to be going fine. She seems very happy inside me and is growing stronger by the day. There is no reason that anything is going to go wrong and I need to keep telling myself that.
I think it still seems so surreal that it is actually happening.. in 8 weeks or less I will be a mother again and have two daughters.. something that I always dreamt of but never thought would come true. I don't think my brain can process it, every time I think of that, I feel like I am dreaming.
Sienna is adapting well so far.. she seems really excited about becoming a big sister. Her best friend has just become a big sister and I think it has helped her realised what to expect. I think she understands quite well too which is reassuring. I am not doubting there will be hard times too though.. she has been used to my undivided attention for 3 years and all of a sudden there will two for me to juggle. I know the mummy guilt is going to be hard but I'm just going to try my best to spend time with them both and give them what they need.
I don't want to rush this pregnancy as I know (100%!) it's going to be my last and I will miss aspects of it, but I really can't wait to meet her, have her safe in my arms and start this new journey with my girls.
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