The ones I have been a part of in providing feedback about peer support, are offering training, parameters, guidelines to past sufferers as part of their training before they start to mentor. It is very wise and good forward planning. Eating disorders are so insidious and deeply hidden that it can be easy to unintentionally harm another person and trip them up in recovery. It is also essential to learn how to respond to fellow sufferers, when to block comments, not get involved with the ED talk, be objective etc.
If you are going to offer peer support or mentoring to fellow eating disorder sufferers then please be responsible and think very carefully about your own recovery, where you REALLY are, and what behaviours or words you say might be triggers.
- are you still underweight
- are you only in solid recovery less than 18 months
- are you still doing ED behaviours weekly, monthly, relapsing
- are you happy to compromise with the ED and let it have a corner of your life
- do you think it’s an achievement to accomplish goals and still have ED behaviours
- when eating do you still play with the food on your plate, move it around, shred it and then not eat the carbs or other parts
- do you eat only salads, fruit, yoghurts
- the list goes on and on ….
All of the above are normal recovery behaviours, but if you are mentoring someone weaker or sicker than you, the things I have listed can really trigger that person back into major relapse. Even your body shape is enough to trigger someone.
It is seriously uncool, if the person you are offering support to relapses because of the words or behaviours you exhibit that are ED related.
It’s admirable that sufferers want to help others and don’t want others to die, get sicker. It’s admirable to encourage and care for each other. But don’t rush in when you are not strong in recovery yourself or are still exhibiting ED behaviours that will only confuse and harm others.
Some sufferers find support groups or mentoring works for them. Others find it intensely triggering and are better off recovering alone. You can’t put a blanket approach over everyone and think that the support you offer is always going to benefit.
Be responsible, be open, be aware.