Maya Angelou
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."- Maya AngelouAlthough this quote is pretty straight forward, I think it takes most people more than a first time to accept who a person truly is. When I first read it, I instantly thought about negative people; people I met in life that ended up making a fool out of me in some way, shape or form. Afterwards, I would always think to myself, "I saw that coming," or "that didn't surprise me at all." Sometimes in life, we overlook things that we don't want to accept about people until a situation or circumstance forces us too finally accept it. Personally, I think people usually have pretty valid reasons for not wanting to believe things they can't accept about a person. It may be a close friend, family member or significant other that the person wants to continue to have a relationship with. The relationship may be good and all, but it's usually those 1 or 2 things about a person that will eventually destroy it.
There can be a list of the most common things to look for in negative people, but the most common in my life have been: People who use you, slander your name and get mad at your success. You can usually see early signs from the things that they say, their body language, facial expressionsand the way they treat others. These things should not be overlooked for they can let you know very early what kind of person you're dealing with. I've had "friends" that have used me for my car for years; only called me when they wanted a ride somewhere and when they finally got their own vehicle, I never heard from them again. It was almost like the person moved out of state - or somewhere far away - when they were actually still staying a few miles down the street. I saw the signs in the beginning, but just didn't want to believe them. I didn't want to believe them because I would never do that to someone; but like many people tell me, "everyone is not like you."I'm not going to go into extensive detail about the negative aspect. I think you pretty much feel the drift of that anyway. But the good thing about Maya Angelou's great words are that they apply to positive people as well. Positive people, or whatever you want to call them - people who have your best interest or people who bring out the best in you - will show you who they are the first time as well. I'm sure you've met people who came across as genuinely good from the first time you met them. People who you could tell - from the first conversation - had a bright future. They are usually so passionate, goal oriented and career driven that they don't have time to use you, slander your name or hate on you. If anything, they will serve a part in your support system - as does every U.S. president have an administration that assist him in his success. It was the great author and humorist, Mark Twain, who said, "Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great." In closing, I would advise that everyone pay close attention to the people in their inner circle. Make sure that they are people who are adding value to your life and not taking value from it. 9 times out of 10, they showed you who they truly were the first time you met. The late great philosopher, Jim Rohn, suggested asking yourself, "Who are my friends, and what are they doing to me?" It is my hope that we all stop wasting time with people who aren't adding value to our lives. We all deserve to be treated with respect and to have true friends that are there for us when things are going great, as well as when things are going bad. It was Oprah Winfrey who said, "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." Let's stick with the people who will ride with us on the bus. You will definitely be able to see that they will, from the first time.