A week ago I wrote a poem to my not so little girl. Tonight she is having a sleepover, they have made a music video and I was invited to watch, it was hilarious and once again reminded me how grown up she is becoming. I popped my head around the door a few moments ago and excitedly announced ‘chubby bunnies?’ While holding aloft two bags of marshmallows. They put down their iPads (big girl h doesn’t have one) and eagerly accepted the challenge…. I was not invited to take part, I was, however, offered the second bag and, cheeks full of fluff, returned slowly, dejectedly,downstairs to Scott.
He is making a pirate sail in the kitchen for Roos party…. Turning away from the poster paint he asks me ‘are you going to take up some rice crispy squares?’ with a grin…. I had to blog about this. Rice crispy squares of course symbolise that I’m in ‘Molly Weasley’ territory, which, for my younger two is pretty cool….. But I guess its decidedly uncool to a tween… I’m not saying I want to be Mrs George (see mean girls) but I did think I would be a ‘hip’ mum….. My sister pointed out to me earlier that that will never happen, no matter how many shapes I throw, no matter how many times I recite all the lyrics to Little Mix’s Black Magic, or learn all the ‘in phrases’ or make silly jokes…. I will always be a regular mum… Unimmune to the eye roll…. Forever an embarrassment.
But I’m a young mum….. Or I was…. I’m not 30 yet, I’m down with the lingo…. In with the kids…. I have a crush on Harry styles too (it’s the hair). Woe is me!!!!
I want to offer some words of wisdom to mums everywhere at the start of their journey…. Don’t say no….. If your little girl asks to paint a picture with you! Do it! Washing can wait, that news article can be saved, that job, is just that, a job! …. Build that tower…. Read that second story…. Hold their hand a while longer…..One day, you’ll find your presence isn’t requested so much…. They will always need you, but those constant invitations to join their little world will be more selective. As they grow and mature….. They need space to find who they are….. Mum may not be the biggest influence in their life…. Friends take your place and it’s bloody scary.
Big girl H has some lovely ‘BFF’s’ and I’m proud that she has a solid friendship group, unfickle, sensible and polite….. It makes letting go a bit easier. If you had told me when I held that little baby in my arms at 19, that the letting go process began at 10, I would have laughed. I would have thought…. Don’t make them grow up too quickly….pop songs, iPads, Harry frikkin styles! No way! I won’t let her! But how could I know then what I now realise…. She’s growing at her rate, the rate of all tween girls around the country…. 10 isn’t the new 13…. It’s just the start of the next chapter…. Where one day, she won’t turn to me first….
But for now, every-time she calls for me, every time she asks for my advice or shares her racing thoughts with me, I will listen…. I will savour….Unless she’s telling me again how much she loves emojis….. I won’t tell her I love them too, because then she’ll think I’m trying to ‘be cool’ and I’ll never be invited to play chubby bunnies.