I’m in a serious relationship with an escort; when we met a year ago I was her client, and since I’m not the jealous type her job was not an impediment to our becoming lovers. I’m in my 40′s and she’s about the same age; she only started escorting after her divorce to provide for her kids. However, we don’t have a lot of sex anymore, and when we do it’s nowhere near as good as it was the first few months we were together. I would never ask her to quit her job, but she seems to have nothing left for me; she hasn’t even worn anything attractive at home since Christmas. I was married for 17 years before divorcing a few years ago because our physical relationship deteriorated, and I don’t want to be trapped in that same situation again, but when I bring sex up with my girlfriend it just leads to fights. I’m close to calling it quits and am desperate to find a solution.
What this means to you is that your lady’s job is neither here nor there in relation to the problem you’re having. While in general sex workers are probably much more likely to understand a man’s needs than other women are, people tend to have a blind spot regarding their own situations; one who can understand a problem in relation to others may be completely unable to see it in herself. Also, you said that she came to escorting later in life, long after her ideas about sex and love had formed; that makes it much less likely that she was unable to internalize the “whore’s-eye view”, and still looks at relationship sex as any amateur would. Her quitting would make absolutely no difference in her sexual response to you; she’s not uninterested because she’s having “too much sex” or she’s “satisfied” due to her work activities, and it’s a virtual certainty that things would be the same no matter what job she did.