Many months ago, a close friend asked me what I could bring to God’s table. What could I offer in service to Him for all He has done for me.
It has rattled around my brain for ages, wondering if what I had in mind was enough, wondering if that was able to be labelled christian service. It has been consolidating now for sometime. When and how to write a post was the challenge. Do I even put it out there?
We aren’t given hardships in our live by God just so we can serve Him. That is ridiculous. He doesn’t need or hate us that much. What each of us do with what life gives us is up to us.
Sophie thinks God gave her anorexia. So.not.true.
We live in a crappy world so despite what or who you believe in, we all get the same treatment. It is the wonder of what God does with that. He rarely waves the magic wand and just fixes it. What He does do is provide the support, care, love and ability to survive. He carries us, enabling us, growing us. I cannot believe how much my horizons have widened because of anorexia. I hate having it here, but it has blessed in many other ways. I hate my daughter being subjected to this, but have found a way to survive that brings richness to both of us. My daughter will find that too one day.
My ministry (if you call it that) is this website, the book that will come from this site and the ability to reach out and support those who struggle with this. I cannot do less. It is a journey that is unique, difficult, and unable to be understood by those looking in. That doesn’t say we are precious or precocious. It just means a very basic and obvious fact. To truly understand this journey you need to be a carer or sufferer.
I still hope to add a counseling or psychology credential to the counselling, support and help I already find I am giving. To my followers you humble me and I thank you for your trust and opening up. I am just a mom who found a voice to say what it is all about, when there is nothing else to tell you.
I dream of outpatient facilities that will pick up after inpatient care, or provide care for those who don’t make the criteria of inpatient care. There is already enough medical professionals in this area that I could piggy back off. I don’t know yet, it is a huge undertaking. I dream of providing respite care for those who cannot keep going day after day with the grind of caring. Carers need breaks, need time out to put themselves back together again. Not everyone is blessed with the church environment that supported me.
So that is where I am, who I am and what I offer at this point in time. The rest will come if and when it is granted.