If you'd ask what's the one thing that helps me to feel alive...its my hair.
Washing my hair can be a source of pure pride. I actually have this sort of "glee" inside when I wash it, because I am often each time I am reminded of my spiritual journey. Perhaps because i researched a bit, and found hair is symbolic of several things: power, pride, shame & glory; and I even read some place it is relative to being thought of as: "the external soul". Deep.
So.. Here's my "Hair Story :
Over the past 8 yrs, I've wrestled with my hair. Its been quite a journey. "Should I cut it? Should I keep it long?" Will I know what to do with it when it grows out of control?" i now know that growing out of control was just an illusion, and I had issues with what people thought. So glad hat has subsided, and been buried in the ground. My hair has a preserving effect. It has kept me strong and delighted. hopeful and observant. And Telling. (Yes, with a capital 'T'.) Because there is a certain "earthi-ness", that comes with me, and I simple adore. I don't like being categorized or placed into any one's spectrum. I love to be brave, and have recognized the strength in being a brave soul. It's been a journey, of sorts. A blessed one, indeed. One that has matured me, delighted my soul, kept me sane, and I can easily trace back to major sentiments and transitions in my life.
One of them being on the heels of a return from S. Africa, and a love for the people and how their hair were often personal & cultural statements about their lives, and mirrors to their soul. I now realize the 'wrestling' was not just with me, it was with my soul. And my lifestyle. And my choices about how I LIVED my life. I have realized where this new hair journey began for me, began with several new beginnings, and with each new beginning, I feel that much more resolve.
I am grateful for my hair journey today, the maturity, the resolve, the growth of my life and person-hood, and the courageous young woman it has helped me to become as i delved a little deeper in my soul, noticed where my life was going, considered what 'beauty' and Nthabi, looked like... (my African name). I have found my life wrapped up in my hair these past eleven yrs, and I am proud to say the woman I was then, I am no longer. My hair has evolved with me. Even my confidence, my refuge in this past year, and often my awakening.
Selah. 10-29-31.
†****††***†*****†††*******************†*††***
August 28, 2017.
Recently I changed my hair color and found my personality changing with it. Feels good to have options that add to your livelihood and manner of being!