We can choose to accept or deny our destiny. Choosing a hybrid of both leads to a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. Although I loved them as an eight-year-old, I am not a thrill-seeker when it comes to the stability of my life.
Thus, I am accepting my unfairytale, single forever, cougar destiny.
In chronological order, here is the plan on how to achieve said status.
1. Date only men with great abs.
2. Perfect current demeanor of being visible yet untouchable.
3. Maintain attractive physique.
4. Frequent bars and clubs instead of bookstores and coffee shops.
5. Keep dating men with great abs.
6. Only talk about men with great abs to friends.
7. Pursue dating men with abs and focus less on my career.
8. Have comfort food nights when abs man disappoints.
9. Focus on career as a distraction.
10. Talk about ex abs men on dates with new guys.
11. Add man-eater as part of career. Become ruthless and cold on the inside.
11. Make lots of $$$. (details are unimportant)
12. Get breast implants.
13. Refuse marriage proposal from nice, average=looking man with stable job.
14. Get cat instead.
15. Keep looking for nice man with abs… and hair.
16. Fail.
17. Get two more cats.
18. Take up knitting.
19. Have martinis for dinner.
20. Prey on the young and weak.
This seems like a flawless plan to me. Another perk is, it seems that a lot of LA girls are on this same regime. We should compare notes!
All in good fun,
Cleo