Morning Smiles

This morning’s cutie is from Can U Still Hear Me?  I can’t believe how quickly the days are just flying by.  This morning I have so many things to share with you from some of my most favorite sites It’s So Dumb and Stupid-It’s Funny, Can U Still Hear Me?, Jokes, Funny, laughs and Quotes, Maxine, Wings of Your Soul, YoLo, My Attitude-My Life-My Rules, Fun Zone, Laugh It’s Free and Truly Tasteless Jokes (Facebook).  These are must check out sites always something new on them.  So many smiles today sure to put a smile on your lips and your heart.

I can totally related to this one!  I am down to my last nerve and it seems like they are stomping on it!  LOL

OMG!!!! This is my all time favorite cartoon!  I want to take over the World too!!!!

Seriously, this one was just to cute not to include!

I love this one because all my family, friends, FB buds and Fans are Awesome each and everyone of You!

I found an iPhone on the bus today, so called the number in the contacts that said ‘Home’.
“Hello!” I said when they answered. “I’ve found your phone on the bus.”
“Oh, that’s fantastic,” the woman sighed with relief.
“I know it is” I replied, “How do I work the camera?” 

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice — picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. 

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit…. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Some old men can still think fast…

 

MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong. ‘Yes, Nurse Tracy,’ said Mr. Wallace. ‘My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.’ Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, … ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.’ The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. ‘Mr. Wallace,’ she said, ‘You shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.’ ‘But, Nurse Tracy I can’t,’ replied Mr. Wallace. ‘I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.’ ‘Yes,’ said Nurse Tracy, ‘you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?’ ‘Well,’ he replied, ‘Today is the viewing.’

I switched off my wife’s life support machine last night and realised how strong a person I am.

You try unplugging something while four doctors try to wrestle you to the ground.

 

 Wow what a totally cool idea! This I am definitely going to try!

 Wow they should have this pic on the box of condoms!  LOL

Have a remarkable day everyone!

Lucky