Mirror Mirror...A Tonic for Confidence Or Plain Old Narcissism???

I took the Metro to work yesterday, two stations after mine a girl got up and stood in front of me. With the prerogative automatically assumed by those who are privileged enough to have seats, I quickly assessed the newcomer much like my neighbours who too were similarly engaged. She was a college-student- most likely of the Commerce stream with a fat xerox of recent amendments to Direct Tax weighing down her arms- in a plain black tee, dark fitted jeans and wedge-heeled flip-flops. Not too tall, she was not particularly nice looking but wasn't bad looking either. She was dark-complexioned, had lovely dark medium length hair, not artificially straightened which is now so common it almost looks tacky, and her eyes seemed particularly bright and alive. I took a look and got back to the book I was reading. The lady sitting to my right got up at the next station and this girl took that seat, and immediately fished out her white Samsung Galaxy Ace from her bag. Her elbow jabbed me slightly, she said sorry, and what happened next made me forget my book and started a chain of thoughts which finally led to this post. She quickly unlocked the screen drawing a Z pattern, and then simply sat staring at it with a grin on her face. Every time the screen timed-out, she would unlock it and stare at it. She got off at the same station as me and her routine continued till the time we stepped off the train. By that time, I was highly amused and a teeny bit irritated. I almost cocked up an eyebrow and scoffed privately to myself. "Stop it already" I wanted to tell her, for other passengers too had observed her behavior and were peeking/trying to peek into her phone. But she was oblivious to everything.

What was on that screen you ask? In case you haven't guessed already, it was wallpaper-ed with a picture of her own face in profile- only the left side of her face was visible, her nose was perfectly hooked, she had on a pretty smile AND she looked exceptionally fair! Since she was sitting right next to me I was able to surreptitiously compare and reassure myself that yes, it WAS her in the picture, but the mismatch between the actual person and the photo was so great it sent my mind into a tizzy; no wonder she herself  had fallen hook, line and sinker for herself!
Now, I love taking pictures and I love clicking selfies. Much before the term 'selfie' became popular and Ellen Degeneres broke all records, I have been known to click a perfectly framed 'self-portrait' as it was called then of a fully pregnant me with my husband, and one with 2 of my best friends. In fact, I'm a much better version of myself in pictures clicked of me by me than in pictures clicked of me by others. Which is not surprising considering the fact that I know my own features and the angles that suit them best better than anyone else. All the several beauty and fashion blogs and the lovely pictures we see there also bear testimony to this simple technicality. But while I unabashedly post said selfies on my Facebook, Blogger  and Whatsapp profiles, I can never ever gather the courage to wallpaper my beloved Xperia with my own mug. Simply because I use my phone in all kinds of public places and find it appalling to have any random stranger do a double take to take a peek at my screen. To put it another way, I am narcissistic enough to click and post pictures of myself on my various social media profiles, but it is intolerable to me to have a stranger sneak a peek at me/my phone and think "What a narcissistic li'l bi**h!"

Richard Avedon, the celebrated American photographer, famously opined that portraiture is performance, and this is most true in the case of selfies. It is a fact that that single perfect selfie is the result of several imperfect, blurred, botched and discarded ones - selecting the grain from the chaff is the domain expertise of any prolific selfie taker. How many of us actually post pictures that showcase us in our most-comfy but tattered beyond decency nighties/pajamas? How many of us are brave enough to post pictures that display the wrong side of our face in all its glory - chubby cheeks, acne marks, double chin brazenly out?
So why take all this trouble? What's the need for this elaborate performance? For me, more than being the expression of narcissism which I do admit I have to a healthy extent, my photos - selfies or not- are linked to my moods and to my confidence. I hardly have any photos of myself of the time during which I was going through the lowest phase of my life. In fact, I'd stopped taking pictures altogether, hated the sight of any camera- digital, SLR or cellphone. It was almost as if I didn't want to retain and preserve any memory of those ghastly 4 years of my life.
But now that I've finally been able to put the keys of my happiness in my own pocket, I just don't want to miss out on any thought, emotion, moment or thing that brings even a teeny bit of joy into my life. When I grow old and look back at perhaps the misspent days of my youth, I want to be able to say, " At least I was happy, at least I had fun!"  And yes, when no amount of anti-ageing creams and serums would be able to rub away those wrinkles and crow's feet, I want to be able to hear my grandchildren say, in an approximation of Jane Austen's words, "Oh but she was a handsome young woman!"

So I don't hesitate to prettify myself, preen and take pictures that flatter me. I use products, clothes and angles that make me look neat and presentable- it gives me an immense boost of confidence when I step out of the house- and if that makes me seem consumerist and narcissistic, so be it. Beauty, though ephemeral, is a thing of joy, and memory is only worth what we preserve of it. I revel in whatever little I've inherited from my beautiful Mom, pray to God to preserve it slightly longer, and try to focus on things that make the world seem more beautiful than it is. So my camera is actually my mirror.
But yes, you won't catch me staring at my own picture on my own phone, especially in public. I'm not as oblivious to others and (over?)confident as that. 
What about you? Do you think the selfie culture is merely an extension of heightened selfish narcissism exemplified in its extremity by the evil queen in Snow White, or is it merely a harmless way of channelling  positive energy into a surge of confidence? Let me know your opinion in the comments :-)