The Washington Post has run a couple of pieces on the differences in sexual behavior between millennials and the generations just before them. It’s a very interesting topic because it delves into something that many have false assumptions about—the sexual behavior of this younger group.
Contrary to current myths (and urban legend) younger folks are not more sexually promiscuous than their parents were—in fact, they are waiting longer before having their first sexual experience. The Boomers began the sexual revolution and that generation is known for its indulgence in sex, drugs and rock and roll. It was also a generation that greatly impacted the divorce rate—as Boomers were raised to believe that divorce was no big deal and that if you weren’t happy, you should get out. Women were making great strides in pursuing higher education and moving into careers that had previously been open mostly to men. So the attitude was that they could now do anything that men could and didn’t need to remain dependent and submissive—and this included in their sex lives. Younger women benefitted from these new freedoms—but clearly there were downsides. Perhaps this new sexual trend is a reflection of one or more of those.
The Journal Archives of Sexual behavior published a study recently that found that those born in the 1990’s are more than twice as likely to be sexually inactive in their 20’s than their parent’s generation was. Millennials as a group have fewer sexual partners than Generation Xers and Boomers did and do.
Interestingly some experts are saying this could be a BAD sign that suggests these folks can’t handle real intimacy and instead engage more virtually with people—which can risk their ability to be close and handle intimacy as they grow older. I say nonsense. My theory is that they have had “permission” to experiment, and be open sexually—and have found out it’s not all it is cracked up to be. They have seen the downsides in the older generation and have decided that how they handled it didn’t work out so well. After all is a high divorce rate, multiple partners, and seeking love over 50 all that great?
Besides, for those who have experienced hooking up—they have found out that is not really all that great either. It often leaves them feeling empty and wishing for more real romance, mystery, and FEELINGS in their relationships. I hear this from my male and female millennial clients.
Now that they know they can, they are choosing more and more not to. Who knows, we may return to a slower, more traditional way of dating. For those who fought for the sexual revolution, ask yourself if it was all you thought it would be and if your life has turned out well (at least in part) to what was available to you back then. It’s likely many of you would say the freedoms were great but you wish you could go back and take things a little slower.