Marriage tip for Women
“I can live 2 months on one compliment.” Mark Twain. Sounds pretty amazing, doesn’t it. Think how your spouse would feel hearing positive statements about himself or his behavior. Think about how you feel when someone you care about pays you a compliment. Maybe it’s your boss, good friend, or significant other saying you really did an awesome job, look great with your new hairstyle or made a fabulous dinner. Whatever the compliment it sure feels good! And your self-esteem takes a flying leap off the charts. Now while it may not last for 2 months it certainly was a positive experience, I’m sure. Seems like the benefits are so powerful that it’s worth repeating on a regular basis, as people in general love to hear what they did “right.”
How many times have I heard that “my wife doesn’t appreciate me” or “my wife never says I do anything right”? Men are wide open for encouragement, praise and support. In fact, as most men are fixers, they thrive on knowing they have solved the problem, or made their wives happy by something they said or did. Yes it is a bit narcissistic, but aren’t we all?
Compliments go a long way.. Here are some easy ways to accomplish this task:
1. Find something to praise. The way he cleaned up the kitchen, or how he cut the grass.
2. Make sure you are giving him more positive comments than negative ones each week.
3. Listen if he presents a new idea and refrain from judgment. Tell him of the pros first before you jump on the cons.
4. Tell him how much you appreciate him and give one example of why.
5. Look for the little things he does to make family life easier and tell him you notice
6. Focus on who he is and not only on what he does.
7. Make a list of 6 things you appreciate about him and refer to it often. Keep it handy so you can remind yourself of these traits you identified.
8. Be sincere and only praise or compliment what you believe in. Without sincerity, praise can be viewed as manipulative and annoying.
In the end, encouragement is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse. The results will be noticed in all areas of your relationship: more meaningful connections, increased intimacy and more fun together.