Love is Not Rude

Week 05

In one of Kevin Hart’s shows, he alludes to the fact that men are just never ready to have a fight whereas a woman is always ready. Giving an example of a dinner out with friends, hubby and wife have fight and she will bring out some skeleton from the closet to embarrass her man. ”This is not fair to men” Kevin says, reasoning that men have a limit, they respect how far is too far when it’s a fight. Later on in the same show he talks about the woman who is always quarreling her husband and daring him “Hit me, and you  gonna see. I dare you boo boo” she says, and when he hits her she screams surprised like she didn’t see it coming.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife – Proverbs 25:24

So Kevin hart may be a bit extreme but I think there is truth in what he says. Ladies, in finding their love and settling down, begin to treat a man like one of her girlfriends. Wired as relational creatures, ladies don’t ever run out of things to say, they attach their emotions to situations, and when a similar situation occurs, the same emotions are triggered and a reaction attached to the emotion. Mark Gungor says “for goodness sake don’t insult him, he isn’t one of your girlfriends, just ask nicely”. A mistake that many women make is ranting or rattling off what their emotions speak to them during a fight and then later on feel bad about the consequences.

It is well with a man who is gracious – Psalm 112:5

Whereas men aren’t generally confrontational, we understand a different language. Violence. When there is a disagreement, we degrade to animalistic behavior to claim dominance. Our mistake when in a disagreement with our spouse is shouting over her, or in some cases getting into physical fight. At boiling point, I punched a wall once to avoid unnecessary drama. Suffice it to say that a message reached and the fight stopped.

Love is not rude

How does your spouse feel about the way you speak/act around them? How does your behavior affect your mates’ sense of worth/self-esteem? Would your husband/wife say that you’re are blessing or condescending and/or embarrassing? Marriage etiquette demands that just as we were kind with each other when dating, we must continue in this manner and not be rude. This aspect of love can be summarized in three pointers:

1. Treat your spouse the same way you want to be treated
2. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are with strangers and/or co-workers
3. Consider the things that your spouse has asked you to do/not do. If in doubt, ask.

THIS WEEK’S DARE: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause them to be irritated with you. This, you must do without attacking them or justifying any of your actions. Receive this criticism only from their perspective. Journal how you felt when you heard these areas. Make and execute a plan to improve on these areas.