In the last week I have had some very disappointing news. My application for my number 1 choice for graduate school was rejected. I’m still putting things together for numero dos, but I’m feeling half-hearten about it. Thus, I went on a mini online shopping spree, because that’s what girls do when they are depressed: buy a new pair of shoes and a couple of dresses. However, I did this preemptively of my paycheck. Today I got paid and my mood is completely in the dumps.
My pay check was low….like criminally low, but I’ve been working about 25 hours a week, for this and last week. So of course, I inquire, and the pay period only includes one of my weeks. OK, I get that, but the math is still only half of what I would expect for half a paycheck. In order words, I got a less than a quarter of what I thought I had earned.
Who knew the first paycheck would be like the first time having sex, its always the worst!
Never what you expected.
Doesn’t last as long as you thought it would.
And it really hurts.
So instead of hitting the bar tonight, I will be buying a 6-pack, a sandwich from the deli, and hitting up my local park bench instead.
Hey, a girl’s still gotta get out, right?
Speaking of getting out, I have not been getting out. In fact, (this is so lame) I didn’t even realize until a few days in, that NYC was in a heat wave. Yep, I do get up early in the mornings to go to the gym, but I’m back by noon and indoors.
So much for my New Years resolution to have more fun and adventure. But I’m not sulking too much about it, because I created this chronic issue. I want to have time for leisure, but when its comes time to go out on a Friday or Saturday night, I make excuses. Maybe my imagination from reading my kindle at late nights is more exciting than going for drinks!
I have been better at it though, especially in the summer when there are more stuff going on, particularly events that don’t cost an arm and a leg.
Besides the major curve balls this week, I have been reading a lot on WordPress about single girls! Apparently these girls are having a hard time dealing with the crap people give them because they are single. Honestly, these women are between the ages of 19 and 23, #WTF!
Now, I know in NYC and other major cities, one can be single until the early forties today and that is nothing to bat an eye about. But in other places, especially in the South and Mid-West, or those who live in smaller towns, getting hitched in your early twenties is the norm, or at least to be in a long term committed relationship.
So, for our sexist patriarchal society, I’d like to re-iterate the following:
1) There is nothing wrong with being single. If you see a problem with an independent woman working and moving about in society all on her own, then the problem is with you, not her.
2) Times are changing, period. Blame it on the internet, loose social mores… whatever! Younger folks (like under 25) are meeting and communicating more on the internet than ever before (more than half of dates are started online! Not the coffee shop, grocery store, or class), divorce rates are higher and more socially acceptable, and people are waiting longer to have children. The economy, especially in places like NYC, have sky-high living costs that make it harder to date.
Let’s elaborate on #2 more. NYC and other big cities are over saturated with college-educated talent. So its very difficult for even the most talented person to find and keep a decent paying job. In fact, it wasn’t until I stopped working last month and started reconnecting with old colleagues and friends, that I realized how many near 30-somethings are still working in restaurants, security, or sales just to pay the bills, and not what they went to school for. Thus, who can afford to take Ms. Somebody to dinner Friday night? (especially if they only received 1/4 of a paycheck!) So a lot of guys, who aren’t financially secure–will “hang out” — not date, not court, but hang out. Because hanging out is cheaper with lower expectations.
This is the economics of dating. I bet you thought men were just being jerks!
When it comes to technology, people are dating strangers (folks from online). Many couples have a hard time transitioning from “online” to “offline”. Meaning they will still email each other, “hey what are you doing tonight?” instead of picking up the phone. Hence, losing some of these social or face-to-face skills. Honestly, online dating has made it easier for awkward people (who probably shouldn’t be dating) to date and made things more awkward for everyone else.
Westerners are also an educated bunch. The higher up in education one goes, the longer this person will wait to have children. Makes sense, right? Not a lot of pregnant college and graduate students running around. The textbooks take up all your time on the weekends! And this person will enter the workforce later and may not meet the future Mr/Mrs so-and-so until later in life.
Thus, singlehood, especially being single longer, is the new norm. Now, as an aspiring political economist, I’d say fix the economic side of the problem. If young people get good jobs when they graduate, the relationship aspects of their dreams may come to fruition sooner. But really, this is how our society is shaping and dinner for one is the new thing!
I don’t hear a lot of guys getting hassled for being single, so I would really like to hear their thoughts on the matter. Ladies, can chime in too!
As always, you reach me on Facebook or tweet me your thoughts!
S.C Rhyne