I’m not good at lying. I used to lie all the time in high school. But once I turned eighteen it was like I was all lied out and the truth just poured out of me without even thinking about it.
I have tried to lie a few times and I just can’t do it. So, I decided that if I was going to be a responisible adult, honesty was the best policy.
Early last year my ex and I broke up after ten years. He had started seeing a new girl (later I found out he was cheating on me with) and after he flew home after a short stint in Hong Kong, he came over to my apartment one Saturday morning to “talk”.
Just before he left I told him the biggest lie I have EVER told anyone!
Me: No one is going to love you as much as I do.
Him: I know…
Me: And this next girl is NEVER going to love you as much as me.
Him: I know!
Me: And I’m going to meet someone new and I will eventually fall in love with him, but I know I will never love him as much as you.
He then hugged me. Kissed me. And without looking back he walked out of my house forever.
It was then I felt that we were well and truly over. That kiss marked the end of a decade between him and I.
In retrospect, I didn’t realize I was lying. It’s actually taken me a year to realize that what I said to him wasn’t entirely the truth.
After my ex and I had the (ahem) encounter, I started seeing someone I knew through work (MASSIVE mistake, but I’ll save that for another post.) Shortly after that fizzled out, I met Joe.
I don’t think Joe and I knew what hit us when we met each other. I honestly thought it was just some small talk over cider and beers, but he has turned my entire world upside down for the better. I have never fallen in love so hard and so fast before and I never thought it was even possible to be happy every single day. But of course, my days didn’t have Joe in it before.
At the time we met, I had just gotten over probably the worst few months of my entire life. My self-esteem was the lowest it had ever been in over a decade, I had some physical issues, my heart had been broken and overall, I just wasn’t myself.
Neither of us knew at the time, but we were destined to start one amazing life together. But as the old saying goes, “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” And I am living proof that when you stop looking, the Universe will deliver and in the most abundant way.
After several months being with Joe, I’ve realised that my relationship with my ex was an absolute joke! I was miserable with him, he made me the worst version of myself, he wasn’t at all what you call “a man”, but simply male. He wasn’t a gentleman, he wasn’t romantic, he didn’t even care or act like a man should.
That’s when I realised I was never in love with him, nor did I even love him. How could you even love such an ill-mannered simpleton anyway?
Since meeting Joe, he’s made me understand what REAL love is and how you behave and interact with someone you’re actually in love with. Even as I type this post, I’m still learning what it’s like to be in an unconditional loving relationship.
It doesn’t happen with wining and dining, being showered with gifts or even by uttering those three little words. It starts off small: A kiss on the forehead first thing in the morning, a small compliment when you’re not feeling amazing or a short text to make you smile.
How did I know Joe was “The One”?
All the little things I liked in the guys I previously dated/liked (and there weren’t that many), is now wrapped up in the one man that is Joe. One would be really good at cooking, the other would be excellent with money and accounts, or traveled the world, or did house chores, or had impeccable manners, etc. All of that exists in my Joe.
The only good thing about my ex was that he wasn’t in the medical/health sector and works in the same industry as Joe. But he isn’t as nearly as warm, loving, handsome or wonderful than Joe is. If anything, they’re on opposite ends of the perfect spectrum. Joe has his flaws, but none of them are even remotely close to how disgraceful my ex is.
Although this post wasn’t intentionally to bash my ex, it was more of an appreciation and celebration of the wonderful relationship I DO have right now. I thank Joe everyday – usually in the form of a text – for being mine and being so good to me. My ONLY regret is that I just wish I had met him sooner.