Our dietitian’s motto for all his patients is: “Keep them alive until they are ready to get better”. He is right – as always. You cannot force someone to become better, the decision is ALWAYS theirs, and theirs alone.
Every support teams job is keeping sufferers alive until they are ready to make the choices and decision themselves. Eating disorders destroy and cause so much misery and pain, that many sufferers would prefer to just die. This is why death is never to be an option. The person is not in their right mind, nor are they able to form an informed or logical decision. The illness takes that completely from them. The depth of darkness and depression only want oblivion. Support teams are there to fight this and keep the sufferer alive til they are able to recover. The support team of course suffer abuse, hate, dis-interest, and dis-association because the ED fights them all the way. But for those who make it back, their support teams have their gratitude.
But once a stable healthy weight is achieved and the longer you can keep at that stability the body and mind change. They become functioning again. With therapy and help, understanding of the illness and tools to fight back are learnt. You learn to make decisions and choices and trust yourself to take them.
From Sophie’s journey there was the time her team just kept her alive and suffered her abuse. She went back into severe relapse not wanting to get better but found her team still there keeping her alive. And they kept doing that, until that magical day, when Sophie was ready. She was ready to make a decision to live. She had no idea how to fight back nor how hard or long the journey back would be. But her team kept her alive so she could make that decision, and her team then walked the road back with her until they are now able to pull back and let her walk unaided. Because she can.