Intriguing Search Queries Weekly, Er Bimonthly – Eh, Mid-August Edition

By Legosneggos @LegosnEggos

It is my favorite pastime — though I’m running a tad late — which is perusing everyone’s search queries this week that led them, however so, via search engine to this here blog, and then doing a little light research for my faithful readers — OK, not faithful readers but those who cluelessly stumble through here!

For most of these queries, I am sure my blog did not provide the answer.  But, you know, as much as they say not to use too many tags, I’ve got to put the argument out there that, had I not used the 138 or so tags on each post, these folks would never have come across this site at all.  So take that, WordPress recommendation pop-up!

So let’s get on with the fun!

For openers — I know someone is yanking my chain because, as always, “kristen wiig feet” or some variation thereof shows on an almost daily basis — at least 8 times a week.  I’m not even kidding.  Kristen, if that’s you, you got me…and I love your work.

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Second — and I identify with this query — “how do you get dried gak out of carpet“?  How many of us parents have had this problem?  I was in this quandary once when the kids’ slimy play ooze substance Gak got stuck in the carpet fibers in the rear of my otherwise pristine Safari van years ago.

(By the way, thank you for the disclaimer you omitted, Nickelodeon/Mattel.  Screw you.)

It was awful. See, if left in carpet fibers, the once pliable, fun stuff dries like it came from a hot glue gun. I didn’t find the answer then, and my matador red pride and joy managed to get totaled in a car accident (not our fault, by the way) before I could research how to get it out, so I am somewhat clueless.  HOWEVER, I have looked it up for you, and here is a possible solution:

From Salon.com in1998 (Really? No other blogger has tackled this subject since?  …which makes us question the effectiveness of this answer) –

The package recommends removing excess Gak by applying carpet spot-remover and then washing the area with detergent and hot water. What if it gets on clothing? Don’t bee-line it to the dry cleaners, because even a good dry cleaning will not remove Gak. When I called the Mattel Consumer Affairs hot line to find out how the hell you can remove the stuff, a representative told me her own personal remedy for removing Gak from clothes was cold water and stain remover. Genius. When I asked her for a recommendation for a good “stain remover,” she rifled through what sounded like the Handbook of Gak Removal until she found an old e-mail from a consumer like me. Using a solution of half vinegar and half water, that enterprising woman found she could get the Gak out of most any article of clothing. Of course, this nifty liquid potion might fade your clothes, but hey, at least your blazer will be Gak-free.

By the way, sorry for offering a recipe for homemade slime a few weeks ago from my Pinterest DIY board.  I wasn’t thinking; I really wasn’t.

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On to the third intriguing search query this week — california municipal code line drying

Good one!  I have heard how neighbors can sometimes find this household habit aesthetically displeasing. Being a newly committed line dryer myself since early this year (to save electricity, time, and my conscience), I disagree.  I find clothes billowing on a line and little individual socks messily clothes-pinnned on to be adorable.

Anyhoo, this information is all I could come up with, and it is only for City of Costa Mesa Property Maintenance Regulations — Page 11, top:

(s) Outdoor drying. In all residential zones or residential developments, the outdoor
airing and/or drying of laundry, clothes, other household linens, or food is permitted
only in rear or side yards, provided that the items are not visible from public rights-of way.

And did you get that?  We can DRY FOOD in our yards?!  For persnickety neighbors, I would be tempted to buy a side of beef and try my hand at jerky. Just kidding.

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 Fourth — this is one of my favorites because, personally, I get it — “hipster girl fashion

I love this new urban hipster trend because it combines equal parts retro-vintage femininity, effortless indie flair or bohemian chic, a jaded intellectualism and confident geekiness that, ironically, do not even care to earn the grade, and — finally! — some hint of modesty just out of respect for oneself, not due to shyness.  I think of hipsters as a throwback to the mid-sixties’ beatnik generation.

Somewhere, a book-loving, Ikea-shopping college loan-strapped geek in the early 2000s immersed herself in indie music, short film festivals, and messy city art, shunning all things mainstream and bourgeois, and a more apathetic, artistic hipster culture was born as an outgrowth.

The Internet is rife with articles on all things hipster and how to get this look.  The first store I would recommend is Modcloth.  This online apparel site is chock-full of hipster fashion. For a more thrown-back look, add some thought-provoking t-shirts, say, from Threadless or indie bands with some tight jeans, and strike a stance (whilst appearing detached yet observant) that is somewhat pigeon-toed and gawky. Stripes and bangs are nice additions, as are standing around vinyl record stores and maybe longboarding if you’re more athletic, or riding a Vespa on weekends.

However, if we are, one, out of our twenties and/or, two, must ask how to look this cool or sound like a hipster, then we are most probably not a true hipster. So, in short, “hipster” for many could mean a lot of pretension to seem dryly unpretentious.  Just sayin’.

I didn’t make this demographic, either. I sure wish it had been around in the eighties because I was a perfect fit for it…but I was too busy listening to The Cure and wearing my lace headbands.

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Intriguing search query this week — “making your own inspection stickers” — third time lately, slightly rephrased.

Given the high cost of being pulled over with an expired one and my recent frustration in my experience of my being issued a ticket for such event, I totally understand your desire to learn how to produce a counterfeit. It was not a cheap fine for being expired.  (Read the rant.)  However, I must say in the interest of LegosnEggos’ blog that I do not support the manufacture or sales of counterfeit inspection stickers.  But, again, I understand, maaaaan.  Times are haaaarrrrdddd!

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 OK, here’s a fun one — number six — August 16 must have had a television segment on this, because a number of queries showed for:

“cocooning exercise” x 2
“cocooning exercise youtube 8-16″
“cocooning exercise in houston tx”
“cocooning exercise 2011″

Well, folks, with that, here is the cocooning exercise, a kind of anti-gravity yoga, in all its Buddhist robe-colored, womb-ily therapeutic, Cirque du Soleil-esque glory:

It won’t let me post the video here since it is not on YouTube or Vimeo, so you will have to follow this link:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/cocooning-hot-fitness-trend-14315161

Also, you can view this Newsy.com story for more information (again, just follow the link below):

http://www.newsy.com/videos/antigravity-yoga-new-fitness-trend/

Yoga ‘ cocoon’is a method of AntiGravity Yoga, doing sports in a big bag of silk that hung several feet above the ground (so it looks like a cocoon). This method is intended for participants to feel calm and peaceful yoga while meditating in a silk cocoon.

Call me nuts, but this kind of yoga appears relaxing and like it would indeed do the spine good. And I’m not about to laugh at someone else’s form of escape since, lately, I’m feeling like I want to crawl back in my Mom’s womb, feeling weary and in need of a respite from this world.

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 Lastly and my favorite query of the week — “centenarian humor laugh at self

As you can see from one of my previous posts, I do SO believe that having a healthy sense of humor lengthens one’s life…I hope my own!  Here is an excerpt of tips from studies of centenarians:

Some facts (from the New England Centenarian Study, Harvard, The Minnesota Nun Study, the University of Georgia Centenarian Study):

  • Centenarians are not obese.
  • Centenarians rarely smoke.
  • Centenarians seem to have delayed or avoided age-related health problems such as stroke, heart attacks, cancer, diabetes although no one knows why (many Centenarians are donating their bodies to science for study after their deaths).
  • Centenarians have a stress-reduction mindset – they handle stress better than others (sometimes called the “Centenarian Personality”).
  • Centenarians have a sense of humor – an ability to laugh at themselves and others.
  • Centenarians have a sense of hope – they look forward to tomorrow with anticipation.
  • Centenarians are engaged – they do something, have an interest, are involved.
  • Centenarians have an ability to cope with loss (and the longer you live, the more you lose – family, including children, friends, sight, hearing, driving, etc.) and still go on with life.

Here are some factors that have been found to be important to aging well:

  • PLAN to be old – consider your needs for health, housing, legal, financial and social/personal supports (remember – you could live another 20-40 years after society considers you “old” at 65).
  • Stay involved with others – do not get isolated (very risky).
  • Stay connected through family, church, interest groups, volunteering
  • Get help early – don’t wait for a crisis.
  • Know where to go for information and resources – have at least one phone number of a family member, friend or organization you can call in the middle of the night.
  • Don’t just hang out with people your own age – they may have more problems than you do if/when you need help.

Welp, that concludes my Intriguing Search Query Weekly, er Bimonthly — eh, Mid-August Edition.  Hope you enjoyed it.  I know I did!  It’s freaking 4:26 a.m.!?  I could — and did — do this all night.  Thank you for searching.