I’ve recently taken up walking as exercise, and I love it. It feels good to move around outside in the sun, but it also gives me a chance to sort through my thoughts. While walking today, I noticed two things that I usually take for granted (this is one many reasons why nature is awesome).
Mundane Thing #1: A Dandelion
Yes, this is a dandelion, and yes, there are millions of pictures of dandelions just like this one floating around on the internet. Obviously my picture is the best one of them all for two reasons:
- Immediately after taking this picture I sent it in a text to Viper saying, “I’m thinking about blowing on this dandelion, but I would really prefer to blow you instead.” Now, every time Viper looks at a dandelion, he will think about me…or at least for the next day or two.
- This dandelion, which was the only dandelion within a good twenty foot radius, kind of represents how my self-identity has changed in the past three months. Allow me to explain.
I am surprisingly okay with being alone, and I don’t mean relationship wise, I mean with my own company. Since The Breakup, I’ve finally been able to find out who I really am. The Ex and I started dating when I was sixteen. Sixteen! At the time, I thought I was so wise and ready for commitment, but I was a moron. I didn’t know shit, and I am still trying to figure it out. I just didn’t know I was still trying to figure it out…until The Breakup.
My relationship with The Ex changed me, and not for the better. Obviously I have some wild oats to sow, but a big reason for that is because I’ve been doing everything “right” for too long. When I was with The Ex, I was the perfect girlfriend. How boring is that? For eight years I stayed home when my friends went out. I hardly ever noticed other guys, and I always checked with him first before doing something fun for myself.
Now I believe that some of the best stories and memories we can have are the ones where we did something that we shouldn’t have, but did anyway because it was fun (with caution, of course).
Mundane Thing #2: A Bush of Funky Flowers
One could argue that this bush of funky flowers isn’t mundane because it is full of funk and stuff, but I’ve walked past it for years without giving it notice. Today, I snapped a few pictures. The first picture is of the whole bush. Like me, it is cluttered and busy. Throughout the day my mind and mood bounce around like the basketball in a game about to go into overtime. In the mornings I am content with my life, my job, and my relationship status. By lunch time I am bored and grouchy. By the last bell I am lusty and energized, and by dinner time I am reflective (hence this post), and usually slightly buzzed from one-to-many glasses of Pinot Grigio. It is exhausting.
Then, I tried zooming in on only one flower:
Which picture do you like better (pick the second one)? Yes! The second one is correct! This picture is visually appealing. It has finesse, it has focus. I need finesse and focus. Instead of worrying about why the cute doctor from Saturday night hasn’t called me yet, and instead of feeling frustrated because Viper hasn’t…ahem…borrowed a book in eleven days, I need to focus on discovering me.
How will I do that? By living my life, by sowing my wild oats, by misbehaving a little bit, by spending time in the sun every day, by spending more time with my camera and with my stove, and by blogging. I believe that blogging is the key. It keeps me sane, and it helps me fall asleep at night.