According to Chris Harrison of the reality show The Bachelor- the season that just ended was “easily the most polarizing season we’ve ever had.” Apparently Chris felt that right from the beginning “something just didn’t feel right and didn’t fit.” Of course, that something was Juan Pablo, the sexy former pro soccer player and single dad.
Juan Pablo was different in that he was, in his words, “honest” about his feelings throughout the process. He often became emotional when saying good-bye to Bachelorettes whom he had to send home- and was very candid when he shared things with the women- most notably when he whispered something to Claire in the helicopter that caused her a lot of distress and led her to question if he was the man she had believed him to be. Apparently the remark was sexual and crudely stated that he liked being intimate with her, but didn’t really know her.
However, it was the final scene that Chris and many show fans have been most upset about. Juan Pablo chose Nikki, but he didn’t propose, he asked her to accept the final rose and see where things might go from there. Apparently his inability to fall in love during the required time and offer a proposal with a woman he isn’t sure he loves is a big no-no for The Bachelor. I don’t know about other viewers, but Brad Womack came immediately to my mind. Brad did something very much like this- only he sent both women away and ended the season that way. Yet, according to Chris H. this season had the most shocking ending- he also added some comment about needing to take a shower after Juan Pablo and Nikki exited the stage following their After the Final Rose interview. Wow. I think Chris’s behavior is what is shocking.
Throughout that interview, Chris kept pressuring Juan Pablo to say he “loves” Nikki. In many different ways and over and over again- and each time, Juan Pablo reiterated how much he likes and cares for Nikki- but that he would never propose until he was absolutely sure. Chris also seemed put out when Juan Pablo spoke of his desire for privacy now that the show is over. Certainly that is not unreasonable. They had him for the duration of filming and the final appearance the other night. Now, they get to live a private life and see if and how they might mover forward together towards commitment. It’s interesting that Chris focused on how hard this must be for Nikki and how wrongly she was being treated by Juan Pablo. I think it was wrong for Chris and the audience to make such a show of their relationship as it is as they implied that Nikki was settling and letting herself be dissed.
I spend a lot of the time I work with singles encouraging them to figure out what they want from a relationship and then carefully go about meeting and dating people who have the traits they are looking for. I urge caution, reminding them that there is no rush to get there, and if there is- this could be a major red flag. No one should ever hurry along something as important as the decision of who they want to make this important commitment to.
I say good for Juan Pablo for standing up for his convictions and being honest- even when there was great pressure to propose, come on the final show professing great love- then in a few months or so getting interviewed about the break-up and offering all the details on why it just wasn’t ever the right relationship for him. That is what we have come to expect from the show, with a few happy exceptions. Of course, I would like to have a word with Juan Pablo about his rude and hurtful comment to Claire- and how he could have explained his doubts in a gentlemanly fashion, instead of like an insensitive beast. Honesty is fine, as long as it is not delivered like a heat seeking hurt missile- which slams the receiver with a gratuitous and painful overkill.