Hello,
I was in Tesco’s rummaging amongst the mangoes with a view to buying one for pudding later that evening. As I popped a fruit into my trolley, I felt a tad woozy and a touch fey.
I had an insatiable desire to free my people from English tyranny!
The spirit of Joan of Arc, Maid of Orleans had entered me!
Within minutes I was scurrying down the World Foods aisle in a hastily applied armour of Nan bread and fresh vegetables (some well beyond their best before date) with a baguette lance in my hand.
On I charged, scything down the enemy (Broad beans are handy in a fight).
I screamed, nay ululated, invoking God to rid France of these English pigs. I sped through the automatic doors, into the sunlight and trundled toward freedom, shattering their yoke of tyranny.
Sadly the trolley wheel locking device was activated and the lardy security guard, bearing his epaulettes proudly, ended my uprising.
The Magistrate deferred the sentence of burning at the stake to 120 hours of litter picking on the A13. I did get my pound back for the trolley though.
You may think I am a fantasist ………..I would beg to differ.
Mango anyone?
Sacre Bleu!
Agnes