He’s back.
All of us, your friends, knew he’d show up. We all remember how crushed you were when he left; when was that – last year? Yeah, and the year before.
Look, it’s nice to see you smile. It’s what that smile costs that I have a problem with. You don’t want to hear it and I feel mean saying it, but he’s already looking at the door. What’s it been, a month? No, I know you think it’s going to be different this time.
Pumpkin. He’s using you, girlfriend. We all know it. (image via preciousjalisa.wordpress.com)
You thought he’d change last year. Where’d we end up? Sitting in this coffee shop with you crying on my shoulder about being here without him, just like the year before. That’s why I asked to meet you back here.
I should have known that you’d be sitting with him when I walked in. Well, I’m sorry that he’s here, because I’m going to say what I came here to say. I don’t care that he’s sitting there.
No. You know what? I’m not sorry. If you’re going to call me when he’s leaves then I’m going to have to get a few things off my chest.
We’ve all gotten tired of your endless Facebook posts about him. Yes, you love him, we get it. He’s so awesome; yeah, got that too. You’re always together, nearly inseparable. Well, you know what? I’m hope you enjoy him while you’ve got him because he’s going to leave by the end of November.
No, he won’t? Seriously? Did you really just say that? Come on, am I really the only one who remembers that he left after Thanksgiving last year? Don’t look so surprised, that’s exactly what happened. It happened last year, the year before and it’s going to happen again this year.
Leave my friend alone, you filthy gourd. (image public domain)
Look, you’re a great friend. I feel like crap saying these things to you, but we all talked about it. What? Yes, we talked about you. We did it out of love and we decided that someone had to say something. I’m going to throw it out there and leave you to think about it. Pumpkin is going to leave. He’ll be gone, along with all the money you spent on him. He’ll be off to God-knows-where and he’ll be back next year when he’s broke.
You love him. Pumpkin doesn’t love you back. You’ve got to cut your losses; it’s just gonna get worse. I hate seeing him treating you like the flavor of the month when, let’s face it, he is. Look at him! He can’t deny it. Pumpkin can’t even look you in the eye.
It’s pretty clear that you’re going to stay in there and try to make it work again, aren’t you? Alright. Well, please forgive me for being harsh. I was speaking from the heart and maybe I got carried away. It’s just that you’re a great friend and I hate what I think I see coming, I was hoping to stop it.
You’ve got my number. Call me when you need me. I’ve done what I could.
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