How I Lost Over 40 Pounds

By Tamera Beardsley @tamerabeardsley
Recently I have had many peopleask me to share

how I lost over 40 pounds

andjust as importantlykept it off.

There was no easy fix.

But I did figure out how to make sustainablelife changesthat added up to the successfulweight loss I was after.I think of them as mybuilding blocks .
The changes I made  came out of one of the lowest pointsof my life.Sometimes if we are able to harness our painit can become the impetus for the change we seek.
I only share thatbecause if I wasn't in a deep dark painI probably wouldn't have put in the tremendous effort I needed to really change.
I remember wondering at the end of 2020when I startedif there would come a timeI would be grateful for the painas an impetus for change.
I am.But it was a long and uncomfortable road.As true life changes usually are.
There had been so much loss and sadness since November 7th, 2017weight gan over the three following years was literally the least of my problems.Even coming across this shocking to me picturefrom May of 2020didn't kick in any change.
I was in a continual state of what felt to me of surviving and coping.And I thought chardonnay was my best friend.
I drank to forget I was more overweight than I felt acceptable.I drank hard a couple  of those years to drown out a broken heart form a marital infidelity.During that time my mother's health was failing.During an eight month span she had a broken back,  broken hip, pneumonia, another broken hipand more respiratory problemsuntil her little body just gave out.I drank because of my Mom dying.I drank because of my oldest son  once more decided to  estrange from the family.I drank because on January 22 of 2020 my husband was let go from his executive job of 25 yearsout of the blue.I drank because I was so scaredwhile my dad was in the ICU for months during  COVIDafter complications from what was supposed to be a simple surgery.I drank more when he died.I drank because my youngest moved with his family to Texas.
But mainly  I drank because I felt like a life failure.
I continued to drink (a lot) untilChristmas Eve 2020I woke up in the middle of the nightliterally realizing there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to ease my pain.I remember feeling if I didn't wake up in the morningI would be OK with that.Everythingjust felt like too much.
And if I did wake upI would have to make  some drastic changesin my life.This way was way too painful.
It took me a couple of days to come up with a plan.

First off was to do a painful breakupwith ChardonnayMaybe it wouldn't be forever(it wasn't0but I knew it would have to be at least 
30 Days Alcohol FreeI wrote about my story HERE
My  friend Adrienne Shubinhad shared her no Alcohol storyand had mentioned the book 
'The Alcohol Experiment 
I bought all the Quit Lit she recommended.
HERE is Adrienne's blog link
The next 30 dayswere awfuland I hard  so many pity parties feeling like I was giving up the only source of joyI allowed myself.
I never really thought I would be successful with changing my relationship with wine.
But I did.And that  was life changing.
I realized what a daily habit having wine had become.
I drank as a reward for accomplishmentat the end of the day.
I drank if I was sad.I drank if I was happy.
I realized how stunted my coping strategies had become.And just how habitual.
I realized how limiting my own Self Belief had become.
Slowly I began to make other changesas I could step back andobserve bad habitsand self defeating coping strategies.
2020 vs 2021
Again I followed Adrienne's advice.She had shared how Intermittent Fasting had also helped her in losing 90 pounds.
I was in.But carefully.
Because I had suffered from an eating disorderfor too many years to count.Bulimia had been a part of my lifea big, big part at one pointbefore I had children.
Intermittentant Fastingworks for me, surprisingly.
It lets me feel more in control of what I eatand when.The added benefit being that I sleep so much better too!
I started out slowlyand then began getting down to a six to eight hour window of eating.
I'm not recommending this to everyonebut with my past and historyit works for me.

The other part of  my success with

Intermittent Fastingis being

Calorie Deficit

which is simply eating less caloriesthank my body needs in order to loose weight.
That really is the bottom line of the weight lossThere are just a lot of supportive components to make this doable and more importantlyconsistent.

The next building block was to up my physical activity.I have always worked out.

Just as much for mental healthas physical health.

I increased my hike from 2-3 miles a dayto 5-6 miles last summer.
I average about 3 miles a day5 days a week now.
We are very fortunate to live in an areawith spectacular hiking opportunities. Jeff and I have made them part of our healthy lifestyle.
They are a gift I am always Grateful for.
Hiking in Natureis what I do for myMind, Body and Soul.
I also weight train 3 days a weekwith yoga and Pilates rounding out my work outs.

I think there are so many different ways to lose weight.

But I think one of the most important building blocksis replacingself sabotaging habits with healthier, successful habits.
Simply said new ways to find joy!
One thing that has really helped me
My Gratitude List.I write it down every morningright next to my to Do List.
It really helps me focus on all of the goodin my life.
It also helps me stay positivewith my progresswhich sometimes felt incredibly slow.
But trust mea lot of little changescarried out consistentlyreally do make a difference.

I believe I was able to make changesbecause I was at a pointnot to change was just too painful.
And now I knowit really isn't about the weightor drinking or not drinking.
It's about developinga good relationshipwith my self.

It is really about learning to trust myself.

To have compassion for myself.
To realizeI might not have always gotten it rightbut I know I was alwaystrying my best.
I just needed learn more successful coping strategieswhen it got down to it.i needed to get to a placewhere I allowed myself to succeed.

To find new ways of coping that don't Self Sabotagethe things I am working onand hold important.


Better healthier ways for meto find joy.


And little by littlelearn to see myselfmore lovingly.


One thing the last four years have taught me is
 life is hard enoughwithout being at war with myself.

 And when we know betterwe do better.
True personal changeis a process.And it can come out of pain.There really is no perfect timeto decide to change your life for the better.

I started my process with one stepand continued to add the othersas I got solid with each building block.~ Changing my relationship to Alcohol~ Intermittent Fasting~ Consistent Calorie Deficient~ Consistent and Sustainable Work Outsand most importantly to meI added new to me~ Successful Coping Strategiesto my self disciplingso that I could sustainthe process of change!A process that needsall the Self Compassionyou can find.



As always my friends

I wish you love and joyas you style your life