Hoping Against Hope by guest blogger, Nyasha M.
My life feels like a “waiting room”. Much hangs in the balance. Everything seems to be at a standstill and from my viewpoint, there are no prospects. Not even “a cloud the size of a hand” (1 Kings 18). Most days it doesn’t get to me, maybe because I try not to let it. I can joyfully go about my life, trust God and stop and smell the figurative roses. Today wasn’t one of those days.
A certain career door shut in my face. I had not anticipated that at all. I was so sure this opportunity would come through. I had prepared, prayed and trusted and I was confident I had what it took to land it. You can imagine how I felt when it didn’t work out as I had planned. I was crushed and dejected. I felt inadequate and anxious.
In the midst of the turmoil and uncertainty the Holy Spirit kept reminding me what God has brought me through in the past. Like the people of Israel (Joshua 4:6-7), I too have my own “twelve stones”; memoirs of battles God fought for me in the past and “impossible” situations He changed in my favour.
I am reminded of how hopeless I was in those seasons. I remember receiving words of encouragement from the Bible and other people and how ridiculous they seemed, as my situation was like a heap of dry bones. There was no prospect of life or change.
I am also reminded of how God miraculously came through for me, one way or the other. I recall how faithful He was to His word. I’d need a whole book to go into the details, but if I were to summarize, I would say that not in any season of my life did I see this particular season being this good, in spite of its challenges and disappointments and when I think about it, the same applies to every other season.
Of course, there are many things I want so much but do not have but I can think of more things I have but could never have wanted. I did not even have the capacity to want them. Never in my wildest dreams would I have envisioned some of the blessings I have in this season (and sometimes take for granted), and yet He gave them to me. That’s what keeps me going, and that’s what keeps me hoping.
On days like today when reasons to hope are hard to come by, I choose to “hope against hope”.