Guest Column: A Client

One of my readers is a long-time client of whores who’s very incensed by the prohibitionists’ demonization of men like him; he therefore wanted to write about the various ladies he’s seen, and I decided to give him a place to share that.

About a year after my wife’’s  menopause and plummeting libido ended all sexual activity in my marriage I started seeking sex workers.  A professional sex worker was a better solution than an affair;  I love my wife and don’’t blame her for what happened to her body and her feelings, plus I felt it was safer and saner to see pros than to risk entanglements with amateurs. I don’t really crave variety, so I like to find one sex worker I like and continue seeing her until she leaves the business.  The following is a description of all the ladies I’ve loved and learned from.

My first was Kate, a single mom in her 40s with a well-paying job in health care administration.  But she wanted to send her son to a very exclusive prep school, so she set up a website and began escorting.  Her minimum date was 4 hours, and she was by far the best GFE I have ever encountered.  Kate was well educated, extremely smart, and very determined; she and I had many long discussions over the years, on a wide range of topics.  Eventually her son graduated from the prep school and attended an Ivy League college, majoring in the same branch of science I work in; Kate introduced us and I mentored him, using my connections to make  sure he got interviews and opportunities. Once her son was established in his career, Kate married one of her wealthier clients and retired from escorting; she still works in her health care profession and manages a busy social calendar heavy on organizing charitable events.  We stay in contact and I count her as a friend.  After Kate I met Mary, whose day job was in the insurance industry; she wanted the income from escorting to help her establish herself in real estate.  She owned a number of properties, and the escorting income let her make repairs and improvements or pay the mortgages when there were extended vacancies.  I saw Mary for 9 years, by which time her investments had paid off to the point where she no longer needed to escort; she then moved to another city to be closer to her children and grandchildren.  We remain in contact and still see each other once in a while.

After Mary, I went through a period where I had more than one regular, because the ladies I liked were difficult to schedule with.  One of them was Ami; she was a whip-smart IT professional and a marathon runner, and she just escorted because it was a turn-on to her.  She didn’t really need the money and was extremely low-volume; in fact, she would only see me when we could schedule it around her busy work and training schedule.  But because her motivation was sexual, she lost interest after menopause; we still meet for coffee from time to time.  Another was Jane, who lived in another city that I visited several times a year for business; we didn’t discuss her work, income or motivations, but I believe her total income was several times mine (and I consider myself well paid).  Jane was well-connected in the escort world, so whenever we couldn’t get our schedules to sync up she would connect me with  low-volume UTR escorts (mostly part-timers)that she knew.  I never really enjoyed those experiences as much as I did my time with Jane or Ami, though; I just didn’t have a connection with any of them as I did with my regular ladies.  About four years ago it became much more difficult to get in touch with Jane, so I assume she retired; she’s the only one of my regular ladies I’m out of contact with, and I wish it were otherwise.  After Jane I met Candy, a full-time sex worker supporting two children (one with special needs); one of her other clients recently proposed, though, so she has told me she will be retiring soon.

I feel enriched by my experiences with these wonderful women; I’’ve learned valuable things about myself and about life that I never would have known otherwise.  None of these women would stand for being labeled ““exploited”; all were fiercely independent and proud to be living life on their own terms, using their intelligence and understanding of men to improve their lives.  In over 20 years of seeing sex workers, I’’ve never met or heard of a pimp; none of them had ever  experienced any violence except at the hands of the police, and the only drugs involved were prescriptions for our aging bodies.  I think any of them would have bitch-slapped anyone who tried to “”protect”” or ““save”” her.  The control freaks who want to dictate what I and a consenting adult woman can do in her bedroom like to pretend that clients view sex workers as “toilets” or “collections of orifices”, but my experience is completely opposite:  Their professional services and care help me in countless ways.  I’’m happier, less stressed, and more focused when I can have satisfying sex every week or two; I am more productive at work, sleep better, and am more engaged with my friends and family.  In fact, I’’m quite certain that my marriage was saved by my decision to seek the services of sex workers; when I’m  celibate my judgement becomes impaired and my sexual fantasies and dreams become distorted to the point of being disturbing.  Without sex workers I almost  certainly would have started an affair, made inappropriate advances, or filed for divorce to get “official” permission to seek partners for sex.  Long-term marriage is an economic institution, and my wife and I are healthier, happier, and wealthier than any of our siblings precisely because we remain married while they divorced.  I’’m grateful to the sex workers I’ve known for their part in that outcome, and they have continued to enrich my life long after the financial and sexual relationship has ended.