Green

For someone fairly “green”, how much of an obstacle will lack of references be?  I only have one prior engagement made through an international agency some years ago; would that suffice?  I saw a reference to “verification service” on the contact form on your website; could this help me?  Also, I’m from a small city; scheduling an appointment in the nearest large one is challenging for a variety of reasons, though I do intend be opportunistic, if I’m in the area.

First of all, you may find this article I wrote for Reason magazine three years ago useful; it has a lot of basic information you may not have considered.  I think it’s unlikely most US escorts would accept an international reference, except from Canada; since it’s rare for prospective US clients to produce international references, even the attempt might seem odd to most US escorts.  And because we learn to trust our instincts, even an odd feeling might cause an escort to reject you, especially during this time when cops are aggresssively trophy-hunting.  I therefore think it would be better for you to look for an escort who is “newbie friendly” (ladies who are will generally advertise thus), and relies on some form of screening other than references.  You will need to provide whatever information she uses for the check (probably full name, profession, phone number, stuff like that; she may also require a deposit).  After you see her, she can in turn provide references to other escorts.  A verification service may help you; this is a company which verifies that you are who you represent yourself to be, usually by checking your employment and/or a background check.  You needn’t worry about discretion; it is not in such services’ best interest to violate your confidence or risk exposing you, because such a breach would undermine its business model (the same can be said for escorts, BTB; one of the things you’re paying for is discretion).  The best-known such service in the US is probably P411; it is not without faults, but I doubt you’ll have to worry about them.

I think it would probably be better for you to seek your first US experience in the nearby large city rather than your own small one, even if that means making some excuse to travel to the city overnight.  In a larger city, you’re more likely to find experienced professionals who will work with you, and references from well-known escorts are more likely to be widely accepted than references from a relative unknown in a small city.  Also, many of the escorts in smaller cities tend on average to be less professional for the simple reason that they have less business and fewer personal contacts with other pros; many small-city escorts don’t screen as thoroughly, and their vouch for you is therefore less likely to be useful when booking other escorts in the future.  Plan ahead; do your research and make a date well in advance rather than simply blowing into town and then opportunistically trying to make a same-day appointment, because that will sharply limit your selection and you may not be able to arrange anything at all.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)