Hello Oily
I recently had my dentures gold plated. The look really good and golden like.
Sadly, my life partner stole them and hawked them for a bargain bucket of fried chicken from Colonel Dixie’s Southern Fried Chicken “Where You Won’t Sickin For Chickin!” on Dalston High Road.
I had to suck the chicken off the bone on account of me stolen gnashers. Now my man wants to sell my elbows for a kebab. I like kebabs but not that much!
What should I do?
Obolongo, Hackney
Oily Replies;
Obolongo;
Fried chicken is perfect for topping up a tan. Have a close look at my profile pic. Peer hard enough and you will probably be able to see a golden breadcrumb or two.
I regularly use 4 day old melted fried chicken skin to baste in. Gives me that leathery cracked look, which when I look in the mirror makes me smile proudly. If I was able to smile. Skins a bit tight ya know.
It also makes one very popular with the birds. The feathery variety that is.
This doesn’t help your problem but does give me a chance to boast about my oilyness. And that is what my column is all about. And what a column eh? eh? Phoowwwaaarrrr
Lubricatedly yours
Oily