Ginger Sooty filed this from Copacabananananana Beach last night.
Hello,
Philipp Laum Lifts The Sausage Of Destiny
Germany Won The World Cup!
Philipp Laum held the FIFA Golden Banger of Destiny aloft in the Maracana last night and proclaimed, “V R der Champs Ja!”
Their win had much to do with the inventive attacking play of midfield dynamos Glock and Spiel and the extremely strong ankles of Bastein Shcweinsteiger who took a pasteing from the leery Latin layabouts of Argentina (who should have won).
The Germans wonderfully coiffed Coach, Joachim “Me Dye My Hair? – Never!” Louw can now relax and work out the final piece of his masterplan for footballing dominance – the reintroduction of the mullets.
Holland beat Brazil 3-0 in the 3rd place play off game and this probably means curtains for Brazil coach “Big” Phil and his team of wailing God botherers.
So well done to Germany.
My highlights revolve around two moments involving the Dutch team.
Firstly there was Arjen Robben’sh,”I tripped ova der Mexican’sh shaushage to earn der penlti,” incident.
And then Robin Van Persie’s dive-volley header against Spain which marked the beginning of the end of a wonderful Spanish team. This is even more extraordinary when you consider RVP had a meat pie on his head at the time.
Other Things You May Have Missed
Darth Vader has mad himself available for selection for Germany.
On Me Head Luke!
Sadly, Buddha has announced his retirement from international football.
Benedict Cumberbatch announced that England would never win the World Cup, “Until we play 3 at the back.”
Thank God It Is Over!