Friday’s Letters: I’m Naughty by Nature, Like I’m Hip-hop Horray

By Reeseatomic @reeseatomic

Dear LC
So, you had your monthly bath earlier this week and while I’m sure you hated every second of it, thank you for not crying too much about it. As I’m writing this, you’re a happy little Vegemite curled up on my pillow fast asleep. Bless!

Dear Andre
Like your sister, you also had a bath earlier this week and I just don’t understand how you get so dirty during the week. Unless you like rolling around on your cage floor, it’s all a mystery to me. Thank for helping me put together my weekly flowers last weekend. It’s so nice to have my own personal florist.

Dear beauty products
There is SO many nice things I want to buy and not enough time to shop. Damn being a shift worker sometimes.

Dear Brows
You’re looking really good this week. I PROMISE I will get you groomed next week, when my work roster isn’t so crazy.

Dear Zoe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING BFF! No words can justify all that you mean to me and how much I love you! I miss you terribly and I wish I was with you to celebrate your dirty thirty. You are the greatest friend I have ever made and you always warm my heart and soul. Have a wonderful birthday! xx

Dear Christmas parties
I have FOUR of you within a fortnight – two are in the same night; The Twelves Pubs of Christmas and the yellow party at the little blue house in Bondi Junction. I’m sure there will be many more in the coming weeks and I’ll be losing a lot more sleep than I’d like.

Dear Boys
PLEASE stop wasting my time. Don’t ask for my number when I know you have a girlfriend. Don’t tell me you want to be “just mates” with me, when I know you don’t. And don’t tell me that you find me attractive one minute and then say, “but I don’t want to make things awkward” the next, because just you saying that MAKES things awkward. I’m just REALLY not interested in your bullshit. Nor am I interested in your existence.

Dear Pops
You are, by far, the COOLEST dad there is! Thank you for the AWESOME Christmas present coming my way first thing next year.

Happy FRIDAY!

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