SHE’S BACK!
My Dearest foodlovers. I write today from my prison cell in Nice, awaiting sentence for truffle smuggling. One had tried to explain to the arresting Gendarme that what one had found down one’s drawers might resemble a Perigord black truffle but was, alas, a rather invasive little growth that had become detached from one’s person. Anyway, after several “meetings” in the prison laundrette Le Prison Gouveneur has very kindly allowed me to answer some of your Christmas queries.
Joyeux Noel to you all and the Free Fanny campaign goes from strength to strength!
Le Fanny RougecrackDear Fanny.
It’s that time of year again when as a family we have to endure a whole day with my wife’s 96 year old Mother. She does nothing but moan. I don’t why we bother sometimes. Goodwill to all blah..de..blah but quite frankly I’m sick of her. How can I avoid her all day without making it too obvious that I can’t stand her.
Happy Christmas,Dave from Dundee
Fanny RepliesDear Dave,
Give her a glass of sherry, stick a paper hat on her head and sit her in the corner. Check vital signs every twenty minutes or so.
Regardez Fanny