This comes back to my previous post about teenage suicide. An article in the Sunday Telegraph recently about the increasing incidents of teenagers presenting to emergency departments with over dose of paracetamol brings the attention to the fact today’s teenagers are ‘spur of moment’ kids. There is not a lot of planning involved in most cases and they know just enough to be a serious danger to themselves with their attempts. Unfortunately some of these end up being fatal. Based on my experience and the experience of others, the warning signs for suicide on mental health websites are not adequate. You cannot tell in most cases if your child is high risk based on the ‘symptoms’ the sites give. Even knowing your teenage suffers from depression and/or anxiety is not enough to know what is really happening ‘behind the scenes’ and they don’t ‘adhere’ to the signs below.
Being on suicide watch for your child (and having a team around them), does not always give you the insight or knowledge when suicide is imminent or planned.
Taking each warning, my comments are in italics.
Are There Warning Signs of Suicide?
Warning signs that someone may be thinking about or planning to commit suicide include:
- Always talking or thinking about death
They don’t. They keep that to themselves very deeply if they serious about suicide. If they talk, statistics say they are not usually serious about suicide. Total confliction here.
- Clinical depression — deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating — that gets worse
They still eat, sleep, take a shower, get dressed, go out, go to school, socialise despite wanting/planning to commit suicide.- Having a “death wish,” tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights
This is about the only thing that is true, they can do high risk behavior.- Losing interest in things one used to care about
Still make daily, weekly plans, buy things to use, go on living- Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
Not a word if they are serious about suicide, or are very depressed.
- Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
Teenagers don’t have wills. The majority don’t tie up their affairs.- Saying things like “it would be better if I wasn’t here” or “I want out”
Again, they rarely say anything. The above comments usually come out in a fit of anger and are more related to ‘heat of the moment’ comments.- Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
Yes they can do this one.- Talking about suicide or killing one’s self
Don’t you get it, they don’t talk about it to anyone. Because someone might stop them.- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
That would mean planning which doesn’t take into account impulse behavior. They rarely write a note of goodbye either. Teenagers are not mature adults who do deal with ties to the world.Physical changes
- Major changes to sleeping patterns; change in energy; lack of interest in personal hygiene; change in eating habits; weight loss/gain
Doesn’t mean suicide and often is the same as before. Depression or anxiety can do this alone.
- Increase in minor illnesses
Seriously?!Behaviours
- Alcohol or drug misuse – MAYBE
- Fighting and/or breaking the law – MAYBE
- Withdrawal from family and friends – MAYBE
- Quitting activities that were previously important – NO they don’t always drop out of activities.
- Prior suicidal behavior – YES
- Self-harming – NO (self harm is not a sign of suicide. Statistics prove that one over and over).
- Putting affairs in order e.g. giving away possessions, especially those that have special significance for the person – NO teenagers don’t normally do this.
- Writing a suicide note or goodbye letters to people – NO, same as above.
- Uncharacteristic risk-taking or recklessness (e.g. driving recklessly) – YES
- Unexplained crying – MAYBE
- Emotional outbursts – MAYBE
For a parent who is trying to ascertain if their child is a risk, the above lists are almost next to useless as a guide.The sites with their warnings are aimed at adults, not teenagers. Even teenage sites don’t cover enough of high risk, impulse behavior and don’t talk about kids still doing normal, everyday things despite having plans to commit suicide. Teenagers don’t have the ties to this world in the same way as adults. With high risk behaviour, impulse often rules the day. What can be relied upon, is if your child has tried before, then they are a risk – a high risk. People don’t curl up in a ball, check out of daily living and give clear indication that they are a suicide risk. If your lucky as a parent, your child may talk to a close friend and the friend will contact you as a tip off.
As a parent you may have to make a decision to get help and decide when and how to do it if your child’s doctor is away or the child is too old and strong to put in your car and drive them to get help. When it comes to our kids, any behavior is suspect – even normal common place stuff.
What does help and these people are fantastic, are the emergency mental health call lines. Not Lifeline or HeadSpace in an emergency. You can be left holding for ages waiting for someone to just answer the phone. As a parent or carer needing emergency feedback, this only heightens both frustration and fear. The emergency mental health line in each state in Australia is fantastic. Answer straight away, put you through to highly trained staff who DO understand teenage suicide risk and don’t use the lists above as their guide. They do act immediately and continue to act well after the event.