I got to a lunch time meeting todayTechnically I am on Day 4 of the 90 day challenge But today is only my second meetingSo I am counting it as Day 2I wasn't particularly looking forward to the meetingAt one stage I wasn't going to go at allAnd was going to stay at home and over use my medsBut I managed to get off my bony bumAnd go to the meetingThere was about 12 there todayA good mixture of peopleI still get quite nervous when it's my turn to speakBut today I managed to speak more than I usually wouldMy ex sponsor was at the meetingI am thinking of asking her to be my sponsor againAs I definitely need one
I'm really feeling the benefits of going to meetingsIt gives me a purpose each daySomething healthy to throw myself in toMy head feels a lot clearerAnd the committee is a lot quieterI feel strongerMore capable and ableMore positive and hopefulSocially it's great tooAs I am meeting new people And talking to peopleAll in allGoing back to meetings was one of my better ideas
So it's onwards and upwards from herePlenty of meetings Seeing my friendsGetting out the front doorAnd living my lifeI also had to do a lot of acceptingAccept that I can't use or drinkAt allAccept that I am an addictThat I have an addictive personalityI've had to accept that I need meetingsBut that not every one at the meetings is wellI've had to filter out a lot of the shite that is talked at meetings And listen carefully to the people who are healthy and strong in their recovery Unfortunately they seem to be in the minority
AnywayI will keep goingKeep fightingFor a better lifeFor a futureFor peace of mindAnd sanityWhat is the alternative......?