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Lately I’m hearing more and more people say not to let pride stand in your way, set aside your pride, pride’s not important, or that pride won’t keep you company at night whenever the question of whether or not to pursue some relationship is on the table. I don’t know what’s going on in my generation that gives us the impression some quest for love is worth being perceived as weak in exchange for our self-worth, but let’s discuss.
Pride won’t keep you company at night? Incorrect. Pride travels with you every step of the day, at least it should. Why would you abandon your pride to put yourself in situations that you know will most likely bring about painful or embarrassing results? It’s one thing to be publicly embarrassed by an event or mistake in your life because others know about it, but to fall so flat on your ass that your pride moves away and leaves you reflecting on your mistake alone in your room and being internally ashamed, is something that I cannot knowingly do to myself. That’s emotional self-harm. I’d prefer to cradle my body-pillow at night with my dignity intact rather than have someone think they wield some kind of power over me and my emotions because I’m a slave to a school girl crush.
Your knowledge of who you are should be the blocks that build your pride and I don’t see how sacrificing that in exchange for the possibility of affection from someone else could be a good idea. Are you going to rely on them for validation of your worth, to tell you who you are, to keep you grounded? Get it together. People spend their lives trying to figure out what they’re even doing on this Earth and I assume they die never figuring it out. How could someone looking at you from the outside keep you completely grounded when you’re in your own body and mind every single day and you don’t even have yourself figured out? Pride is everything and I’d be damned before I let any fleeting emotions encourage me to sacrifice it for someone who could never know me half as well as I know myself and is likely to interpret my profession of feelings, expressions of kindness, or desire to be in their company, as weak. You maintain the ability to belittle yourself in the hopes of winning the love of someone who’s paying you little to no attention but I’ll be content walking past my mirror and being able to look myself in the eyes. I only ask that you not try to interpret things in a way that spares your feelings but instead see them as they are. If someone wants to spend time with you, they will. If someone wants to talk to you, they will. If someone wants to text you, they will. Don’t read into things because your ego can’t withstand the blow. It’s better for your dignity to notice those few bruises and walk away before you crush it altogether.