A few months ago, I was in the store with my daughter, and we were buying a few things. A very clean cut, handsome man came up to me and asked for money. And because of how he looked, I thought he was pretty decent and honest. He gave me a sob story about his son having asthma, and not being able to pay for it. I thought, yeah, whatever, I really don’t have money to give away, I barely even carry cash…. Well, I said that: ” I don’t carry cash, sorry.” Then he left, and came back about and asked again about ten minutes later. I actually thought because he came back, he must be pretty sincere about it.
So I gave him five dollars. Then, I noticed him going around and asking other people. I got a bit suspicious, and wondered if I should keep an eye on him. My daughter said: “He didn’t even buy the medicine, yet.” So as I checked out at the counter, I saw the man talking and whispering with a few other people, and then they left the store, as he handed them something. He hung out in the store, and saw me looking at him, and said Thanks again. I said to him: “Where is the medicine you were buying?” And he didn’t say anything , and proceeded to began leaving the store. As he left, I told the manager of the store he had conned me out of money.
Well, I know it was only five dollars, but I was angry. I don’t ever recall being taken advantage of like this, and I was very upset. Well, wouldn’t you believe it, just the other morning, I SAW THE SAME MAN… at the gas station with my husband & while he was pumping gas, the man walked up to my husband, and began to ask him for money. But before he could really get any words out, I yelled: ” Get away from my husband, Leave him alone!” Well, he didn’t quite remember me, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs at him! My husband was shocked, and so was I. Thankfully, I didn’t have any expletives, but I explained to him it was the man I saw a few months ago, in the store. My husband tried to cam me down, and I was still screaming. I haven’t gone off on anyone like that in a long time. I was so angry, the level of anger that came out of me. I was so angry, I was embarrassed. I never imagined I could get so angry. I am usually a pretty calm person. But I also know I am not perfect. My anger surprised me. But it also made me reflect on what’s on the inside. I never want to lose my cool in front of anyone. I always want to be the bigger one, and notice my attitude and then change it.
I think I was angry about something else, but after sitting with it a moment, I thought about how upset I get about things that matter a lot to people. Not money, just talking about how I hate when people take advantage of you, and they don’t even know you . The man walked away, but my husband said : ” Don’t ever do that again, you don’t know if he has a gun, or what.”
I guess there are some things that piss me off, really, And one of them is when bad people take advantage of people with good hearts. I wrote this after meditating on why I need to forgive. I guess I wasn’t a very good witness to this man, when he saw me again, I wondered after it was over. What would Jesus do? I began to pray for this man, although not until I was feeling less angry… and though I was still tremendously upset, for some reason, I was later able to forgive him. I was grateful God gave me a forgiving heart, but I was so angry for a while after that. I hate that he was still going around several months later, just using people. I pray my reaction towards him made him consider his soul and convicts him the next time he tries to con someone else out of money.
Willows in the Fall on the River in Tulsa, Okla.