I haven't seen much point in starting my bump blog until today as all I would have done is whinge about how ill I am up until now (oh I do love a good whinge nowadays). I am aware some people have guessed by now as I haven't really made a special effort to try and hide the pregnancy, especially in the last month or two (I figured feeling sick and/or tired are pretty generic symptoms of many things?), and I know I'm starting to show now but I haven't actually just come out and said it until today. As you can imagine with hormones flying about everywhere I didn't feel like myself for a long while and was so sensitive and vulnerable to just about everything, and was actually quite nervous about announcing for a while so I wanted to wait until I felt somewhat back to normal.
I guess I should share the story of how we found out! After feeling sick and going off my food for a few days, Craig made me take a pregnancy test. Because I was told I would probably find it hard to conceive after receiving chemotherapy years and years ago (a side effect of chemo can be reduced fertility), Craig suggested that we start trying sooner rather than later so if it did turn out that I needed treatment, we could do that and still be relatively young parents. After lots of long chats about it I went off the pill and off we went. Apparently it turns out I am very fertile, as it happened within a matter of weeks. Obviously I wasn't expecting this at all as I'd spent so long thinking that it would be really difficult for us. I definitely didn't think it would happen within the first few months at the very least. Anyway, I clearly didn't wait long enough for it to develop and as soon as it came up with one line (not pregnant) I put it in the bin. The next night, I was washing my face and the test caught my eye. It now had another faint line on it, and I just thought that was strange and decided it was a dodgy test! I was told to take another one, and again it had one prominent line and another very faint line. Very confused, we drove to Asda in the middle of the night and got some Clear Blue's. By this point I'd decided that I didn't want to get a negative result back now we'd gotten ourselves excited, so I did my thing and made Craig read it. I knew just by the look on his face that it was positive before he even said anything!
I had my first scan a month ago and I've literally not felt a better feeling than seeing our baby on the screen for the first time. It was definitely love at first sight and I knew from that moment that everything was going to be fine. Before I had the scan I would lie awake at night freaking out wondering if I'm going to be a bad mam or if I would know what to do, but as soon as I seen the baby for the first time that fear went away and it was replaced more with excitement. When we seen baby again this morning it was already bouncing and kicking away having a whale of a time in there and I should feel it moving very soon. I think it's going to be really weird to feel it kicking me but I'm so excited about it finally happening too!
So, to sum up my first trimester.. I honestly don't know how I coped with practically 24/7 sickness (which started promptly at week 3) and being so exhausted I slept 14 hours a night plus a nap during the day, whilst starting a dissertation alongside all my assignments and exams. Plus actually getting good marks for it all so far. My tutors have been so helpful and understanding, I can't thank them enough for the last few months. I was told I could push any deadline back and it wouldn't be an issue but I was determined to get all my work in on time just like everyone else. My food aversions were very strong and I quickly went off a lot of food I used to love. Craig came home with a kebab once and as soon as I sensed it, it was game over haha. I never liked them anyway but I never used to be so revolted by the smell. I wouldn't say I have cravings yet but when you feel that sick thinking about eating, if you can imagine thinking of one thing that doesn't make you feel ill when you think about eating it, you become kind of obsessed with it. I think Craig enjoyed the McFlurry phase the most, funnily enough he never complained when I woke him up and told him that we're going to McDonalds!
The second trimester however is a much better place to be! My sickness hasn't completely went away but it's eased off a lot. I'm still tired a lot but I think it's because I'm finding it more difficult to get comfortable at night as I never usually sleep on my side but I have to now because it's getting harder to lie on my stomach and back. I definitely eat a lot more than I used to, I'm constantly hungry! I figure I'm just making up for the three months that I hated food! The hormones aren't as bad as they were, although I do think they have turned me more soft than I used to be. Last week I sat watching One Born Every Minute crying my eyes out from beginning to end, not because I was freaked out at the births (although I'm not particularly looking forward to that part) but because I know that in a few months that will be us welcoming our new baby.. I really can't wait now!