Being in an interracial relationship with a Nepali man is not always easy. It is common that people don’t like M’s choice of partner and they think that they have a say in it. However, the people that have nasty things to say about us being in a relationship are not the ones I want to write about today. Instead, I want to draw attention to the people who bully your partner for their life choices (not including their choice of partner). In ways, this is much harder as it is only effecting one of you and the other one just has to be there on the sideline.
Recently, this has been happening to us. Someone has been making M feel bad. Some of his best attempts at putting M down has been to mention the cost of his course and M’s apparent weakness compared to everyone else. In fact, I cannot even write the worst thing this person has done/said as it is so truly shocking and disgusting that it makes me feel sick.
These things are unjustified, malicious and down right slander. M is the most hard-working and clever man I know. Just because he has not been given the same opportunities in life as any other privileged person does not entitle him to this abuse. Just because he has worked his way to get into a good university does not entitle him to have constant mocking because his other education is apparently not on par.
What that person has actually said to M is not so important. It is the fact that we are living in London and these things are not meant to happen. London is meant to be a multicultural city with a variety of people from a variety of backgrounds. Quite frankly I am embarrassed that M has experienced such hostility in my home country.
When I was in Nepal I experienced some hostility to, when I wasn’t allowed in temples or places for the color of my skin then M would be beside me arguing my point. He has stood up for me at these outright situations in Nepal. So why can’t I do the same for him in London? Is it because the hostility is so overt in Nepal that it is easier to argue with? Is hostility to intertwined in our system that it cannot be nitpicked unless by the individual themselves?
Whatever the answer is it leaves us both in a horrible situation. I am trying to be there to support M in every way possible. However, I just feel his pain seeping through my body. The words from that person are poisoning my veins. Although these are tough times for us we will work through and turn the hate into a successful outcome. We will make it work to our favour eventually.
Besides, even the most clever or influential people had to struggle to be where they are. Everyone has a right to education, no matter where in the world and they shouldn’t be made to feel that they are not good enough. However, is this just an example of however educated you are then it still does not teach you not to discriminate? I really hope not…
Not just in London…
Readers – Have you experienced discrimination in your home country or partner’s country? If so, how did you manage to deal with it?